Small rider on the last post!

Don't you now take things literally when I am joking! Or when there is a potshot article on the blog...If I have to explain that now, its gonna be a tough job! ;)

The last thing I want now is people jumping at me taking everything literally and then casually referring to the last post!

for ex: I really don't want a big blue whale as a girlfriend!

The easiest thing would be to take the more positive side of it - cause that's usually what I mean! In fact it is said that a person takes the negative/positive side of any statement depending upon his/her own mentality and I am not just talking about optimism. Take that smart ass, HAHA!

for ex: I say "oh that guy is complete a$$hole"
I mean - The guy is a complete a$$hole!
I don't mean - I hate him/ I would like to kill him / He is my enemy



"I'm so misunderstood" (singing - not crying...BAH!)
Save me Jeebus!

So what am I trying to say?

Have you ever had this frustrating time when people try to find a different meaning within what you are trying to say?
Well..me too...LIKE EVERY DUCKING TIME I WANNA SAY SOMETHING!

Most of you might have noticed that one of my last posts - "Do you have it in you?" has been deleted. My apologies to the people who read and/or commented, but I didn't want it on my blog anymore.
It was a simple post aimed at bragging about my non-existent fitness. Obviously, having been called a fitness freak during my 11th and 12th (I wonder if it was because of the 1 KM Swim and 21 KMs of cycling a day - Not sure), it gave me great pleasure to write something like that.
But unfortunately, yet again, it took a new meaning and turned into a Sympathy Special.
Gimme a break! Can't a man brag a little?

Other such incidents:
Q)You get a lot of forwards I guess? your phone doesn't stop ringing...
A)Oh you want me to send you some?

Q)My-ex girlfriend is so fat..
A)Are you saying you want a thin gf?
(No I said I want a big blue whale for a girlfriend...an obese Blue whale)

I was curious to see how people regarded the group messages, as forwardable or not, so I ask...
Q)Do you forward my group messages to other people?
A)(Most common answer) do you want me to forward them?
(JUST DUCKIN TELL ME WHETHER YOU DUCKIN DO IT OR NOT??)

Q)(Quip) Writing the movie names in all uppercase is a grammatical error :P
A)(Rubs) Oh you won't gimme the movies?
(WHAAAAAAAAT?)

Q)My Ex-gf is so fat..(another one)
A)Are you saying you are Mr.Hunk?
(Will you let the God forsaken man crack his God forsaken joke?)

Q)I feel like cycling to college everyday, its a good exer...
A)Are you saying you can't afford for the gas?
(No..if I was saying that - then you would have heard it as...well...I CAN'T AFFORD THE GAS!)

----

Addition ;)
Q)Oh good I am not in the picture(because I don't like pictures)
A) Awww don't be so sad...

:O :O :O???

----

Harmless but still I-am-so-frustrated-I-wanna-jump-off-the roof sort of circumstances!


I am hoping you have got the point!
When I am saying I am sitting...it means I am sitting! Unless ofcourse, I said standing and in which case you might have guessed, I will be standing(Beginning to get the drift? Good! Stick with me).
I will not be trying to say anything other than what those words suggest in the normal-people's standard english dictionary and what normal peoples grammar/literature etc,. would suggest!

The accuracy is regretted!

...and still the pride shines through the darkness

You can kill a man in India, but you can never kill the Indian in him!

And the heavens shine upon thou

Guess where smilin' mac was found;) Pic:P-Man

And soon it will all be gone

When college life got over, nobody knows
How in college life, all the time flows
seems like yesterday, I brought my bags here,
new place, new life, strangers a certain fear

Now, I ask myself, did I leave my mark?
A worthy voyage was it, or is the answer too dark?
Did I make enough friends? should ask the others,
made enough friends,sisters a soulmate and brothers?

years passed so soon, and I have worked hard
never ever did I let down my gaurd
I will get my answer in all the teary eyes
during farewell and half-hearted goodbyes

I now wish, I'd had more time,
just a little more, to make more friends mine,
marks will come and go, like success and all its hype
but, mark my words, friends will stay for life

I think I made some mistakes, probably caused some pain,
but, given a chance, I'll commit them again.
I have done what I had to, no regrets here
I've come out all guns blazing, in top gear.

Now, we are through, we are ready for the world
of uncertainaties they say,into which we are hurled
what happens in college, in college it stays,
Thats why, today is where we all part ways

Friends will be dejected, lovers will cry
find a new place to meet, let the spirits fly
This is an occassion to cheer, you have finally won
conquered the world, now waiting for the new sun.


I've definitely taken more than what was on offer
Let's just prepare to make the times, far better.
My bags are packed again, but can't meet all the eyes,
because we all the know the truth, Friends don't say goodbyes

You can defeat anything oceans,mountains and hills
why worry about education loans and coffee bills?
One parting thought,a suggestion, about college days,
Girls and boys - better enjoy it while it stays!


Cheers, to college life!





--
Written and posted a few months in advance, so that all of my batchmates enjoy what remains of their college lives!

Stop searching for inspiration - Be one!

From Mithunda to ROW, hoping to inspire the masses.
Thnx for the pic Mithun :)
And thnx to NRN for The great Indian dream.


--
Note: I am having trouble posting the image. Click on the picture to view it properly.

Girls, gays and me!

Love at first sight part-II (a.k.a)

Preface:
I want to narrate two incidents today, since I have been busy and could not write for quite a while, I decided to club both incidents into one single post.
A word of caution, the blog sounds incredibly desperate, since it is made to sound like that, if you have a poor sense of humour, this is where we part ways.

Disclaimer:
Please NOTE: that this incident or its narration on Insanity Unlimited!!! has absolutely no relation to the horrible(as described by hordes of movie goers) "Dostana" which is making waves among all the homosexuals and perverts across the nation. This post was pending from long before I woke up to its nonsense.(It was necessary to bring this to the attention of all the Ridiculously smart asses who might have made some guesses based on the title
- rest of the world, please ignore this note and read on)


This post is also called Love at first sight part-II, if you are a new reader, please refer to the part one (Which I have not a clue why, is necessary at all!!). Meanwhile let the rest of us pick up where we left off.

The real deal:
After the huge setback of the last 'love at first sight' saga, it was thankful enough that I didn't take to drinking and smoking and doping and groping( ok ok, it was not so dramatic, but we need some spice before we start).
Still in the search of any kind of excitement in my incredible boring life, the blog of which churns up best sellers out of articles written about old cricketers retirements and has absolutely no relation to my own life, I hit upon a shake-up of the month on a popular(not-so) social networking sight.

One fine day on the network, I get a message from a certain self-proclaimed "Smart guy" who says 'Hi...want frensip'. Short and sweet and incorrect. Brutal murder of english perhaps, but I decided to ignore the message. I got some 10 messages in my inbox of the site withing a span of some 5 hours, all more or less the same thing as above. I decided to just give a polite "Hi" as return and so I did.
Lo and behold, barely 15 minutes have passed, I get a new message "plz reply if u like gay, if not me you frenzzzzzz".

From the past 5 -6 years I have had to deal with boys and girls who are under the impression that in order to be cool, you should be able to crack a "Gay" joke.
All these Oh-I-am-so-funny boys and girls, the insult to real humour that they are, are also insult-to-balls and would not even remotely dare to pull such a prank on anybody in this way. So this was definitely not a prank.

This "Smart guy"s new message put me on a flash back to an evening on Betta when a certified gay couldn't stop staring at P-Man and me. It had scared the sh!t outta me.
I ignored the new message and he kept sending the same message over and over again. Until he totally pissed me off and I just replied with a "what?" .
Thankfully the private messages stopped immediately.

Maybe I am supposed to be "Understanding" all the gay peoples "sentiments" here, but all I can say is...Duck this sh!t, he is a duckin gay!!

This explains the gay part of the eyebrow-raiser title. Now for the girls part and also the love at first sight part, though it has hardly ANYTHING to do with love, just like the first part!

...

Fast forward some two weeks, give or take three days, I am on driver duty for dad. Taken him to a clinic in the heart of the city because of his heart-related issues(NO! thats not the love part).
The doc is late, so I decided to stay away from the crowd inside the clinic and sit outside on my bike and reply to some of the messages on my cell (Yes, the same cell on which 85% of my recieved messages are from my own sms group!).

As my eyes wander around the occassional idle periods I notice a girl,sitting alone at the back seat of a car on the road-side, intensely staring at me. She was somewhat cute! Fine, she was really cute. I slowly turned my neck around to watch whom she was really staring at. Alright, nobody behind me, just walls. I recieved another message and I got back to messaging. 5 minutes later, I look up, and she is still staring.

My mind went into another flash back, to the same girl from the Love at first sight Part-I story. I decided not to fall into the same ditch again. I just said to myself:

"This girl, who is cute, I mean really, is NOT STARING AT ME, and did I mention cute?"

Took a deep breath and got back to messaging.

5 minutes later, same thing. She(the cute girl) is still staring and now smiling. This made me look at her a little more obviously and rather questioningly. Probably, because of that, she turned away too.
This happened for quite a while

By now, you must have realised that the doc was conveniently, a little too late.

Finally something happened, a guy, (her brother...fingers crossed), came over and spoke to her. God knows what. She nodded quite strangely and he took of again in a hurry, across the road.
As he went away, she picked up a water bottle from her seat and and started playing around with it in her mouth, still looking at me. I had no clue, what to make of it.

"Ok! She is definitely looking at you, this is not a repeat of the first girl..."


After a while I got bored of all the staring and eye contacts (can you believe it?) and I just decided to go back into the clinic to see what dad was doing. He was reading the newspaper and the crowded room which was bursting with opinions (Typical Indian crowd) about anything and everything, most of it poorly educated opinions, was now quite, boring and uneventful like my life.
I heard my cousin and aunt were sitting in the next clinic and rushed to meet them. After a bit of chatting outside, I noticed the (cute) girl again. Turn and searched for her rather,just in time as her - brother - brought her an ice-cream cone.

She (did I already say cute?) opened the door of the car, got out and started licking at the ice-cream, still looking at me. She seemed to be finding it amazingly difficult to take a simple lick off that ice-cream and before her brother could scream - 'careful' , she spilt her ice-cream all over her dress.

The good brother that the guy was, he cleaned her up and made sure she ate the remaining cone.






It did not take me very long to realise that, the girl was in fact.......A RETARD!!!






The picture shows an artists conception of how I might have looked when I realised the naked truth that day.



WHY GOD WHY?????? WHY ME??????(I know I am not being politically correct throughout this post,but still...I need to ask) WHY ME!!!?????

YOU??!!??

You? Hahaha!!

***************************************************************************

Every king was once a crying baby,
every great structure was once a blueprint.


***************************************************************************


A: So you want to come back after 5 years and shoot your girl's boy?

B: No, after 5 years, when I am ready, my girl's boy will shoot himself.



***************************************************************************


The power of under-estimation is the best gift your critics and enemies can endow you with...bask in it.

The three colours now - over the moon!

My love with the moon has been a long standing fact. Even as a kid, I seemed to be more intrigued by its a quite, luminescent presence in the skies, than other kids around. A lot of mummies might point out the good old "Chandamaama" while trying to feed them at night. But when the brains of these children evolve, they are bored of the same old moon that's been up there in the sky forever.
It was not the case with me. Yes, I was definitely bored with the "Chandamaama" thing. But the space, the stars, the vast unknown and especially the moon, so close to and yet so far, always captured my interest.

The fact that the main picture of this page you have been viewing all these days is of a moon, should be a testimony to my attraction to the 'heavenly bodies'. Its the picture of a moon rising over the Indian ocean. What an Irony isn't it?

Even among Pramukh's widely talent-filled range of photographs, three pictures caught my attention completely, no points for guessing which! I wanted to include one of those for this post, but decided having two images of a moon on the same page would not be a pretty good idea.

I was in 10th standard when ISRO first announced that they were planning a moon mission. In library it was a common sight to catch me with two other buddies with a big book on the universe, animateldly explaining to a bored pair of audience almost everything I knew about space(Deepak Madappa and Shoaib Ahmed - My closest buddies at the time). The day I had read about ISRO's announcement, I said something like this to them..
" You know, I always wished India started sending stuff into space and sh!t like that, but today I know India can't. You read the paper today? They want to go to the moon, hehe, you think the govt will fund that long? There will be some group that will protest and strike and this and that, the usual stuff that goes on in our country and it will be cancelled midway.
And they are gonna take till 2010 it seems. Bull!! I can't wait for that long. Mark my words, it will be cancelled"

Fast-Forward 6 years...

Few days back, I was elated when the rocket took off, some friends asked "You must be happy, but how come no blog on this? "
The reason was simple, I was still doubtful that the impact probe wont hit the moon. That the mission will fail. I didn't want to write about it before it was a success.

Yesterday night, the power is gone as usual, the only light available is that of the moon as I walk and walk admiring the stars. And the people on earth, they seem to look more beautiful at night.
I am glad Indian life in still dotted with power cuts.


Today morning,

Hayden proves again why Australians are pathetically sour loosers with his statement that implies that they lost the series only because India is a third world nation.

Anand Jon, a designer of Indian origin is convicted of sexual harassment.

Lt.Col Purohit - I am responsible for the blasts.

These three snippets of the news are one of the reasons why I doubted India's ability to land on the moon one day, Now, read on...



Indian Tricolors, have finally been planted on the moon.
The first country to land on the N Pole of the moon.
The 4th country to get there and we got there in style
Providing the world with High Quality resolution atlas images.
Maybe the country that discovers Helium-3 , the magic fuel.



Indian teams crushing victory over former colonisers is worth a mention?



All I can say after the news is...Ironic, simply ironic!!
Times are changing, rest of the world, sit up and take notice, Beware!!

India-You beauty, take a bow!

Happy childrens day :)

Hello baccha log,

an important quote for you,

"There's no point in being grown up, if you can't be childish sometimes."


I have been at the zenith of childish behaviour today :)

The bad boy of cricket!

Wise men speak, because they have something to say,
fools speak, because they have to say something!

This post is about beloved Dada, the wise man, who spoke from the mouth, bat and sometimes the ball, every single time he had something to say and silenced all those fools, who had said more than done.

" On the offside, there is God and there is Saurav "

The real bad boy. He exploded onto the indisciplined book of cricketers list , just like he exploded onto the cricketing scene with a century on début , by being the player pulled highest number times since the day ICC's code of conduct was introduced.

Bursting onto the scene was not enough for him. He pulled the Indian team out of its own ashes and re-invented what cricket meant in India. Now, the team wanted to win, than just be craze in the nation. Brought real competition into the side. Fiery blood and aggression is what he induced into the Men In Blue.
Invented the "Great Indian Huddle".
Finally became India's most successful captain.

Would you dare to take off your shirt and swirl it in the air (With or without profanity) in your college fest, let alone a packed stadium at Lords AND on international television?

" Guess who is back? "

Not afraid to speak his mind, he always left a lasting mark every time he spoke, through words or willow. Testimony to this fact is the point that he is 6th on the all time list of Man of the Match awards. Big deal? Try doing that when a billion+ people are trying to pounce on all your mistakes.(Go back up read fools)



Sent a silent chill down the spine of millions of people with his pepsi ad:
"Hi mera naam Saurav Ganguly hain....bhoole tho nahin?
...stadium main fir ek bar apna shirt ghumane ka moka dijiye "

It takes guts to shoot an ad like that, and utter honesty. Not self sympathy. He came back onto the scene, he was still there, his "Mentor" was not, and finally did what he wanted to. Took off his shirt one last time, swung it in the air and this time, threw it to the blessed fans below.

In the process, he showed people from all walks of life, what a fighting spirit means.

" It ain't over, till I say it's over!! "

To Dada,
The real fighter,
The Comeback King,
Sport's greatest script writer,
Capt'n Courageous.

For silencing all the fools, for putting Hollywood sports movies to shame and retiring on your own terms.

All the best

Stop Global Warming

I created this guy, over a year back, as a DP for my gtalk. The words, however, were not visible on it, so I had confined him to the deepest trenches of my file system.
No, no, wait I am not running out of topics to publish, be patient.

Today , thnx to Benne Batta, I searched around for a DP for orkut and found this guy, still smiling :)

I created him to look like me(Shabby hair, goatie and no, I don't wear an eyepatch ) , but unfortunately for my poor image-creation skills, he turned out to be a cute little fella.

Hello? You are missing the big picture... Stop Global Warming. (Don't just write about it ;) )

-
1) Burn less electricity - switch off that fan/AC/tubelight whenever you can do without them.
In other words, make sure all your fans get pissed off on you!
2) Walk to nearby places, or cycle, rather than a vehicle
Use efficient means of transportation. Govt. buses, would be great, but you wouldn't go that far would you?
3) Dont waste paper. (boycott exams)
4) Plant more trees, wherever , whenever possible. (water them all, in all possible ways- ask the trees on Chamundi hills "Who helped you grow?"
5) Don't cut trees either! No deforestation! You can chop off your own head instead.

I know what your question for me is, the answer is- Yes. To quite an extent!

Wrong call Mr.Raj Thackeray

Raj Thackeray is perfectly absolutely perfect in what he is doing!
We all should support Raj Thackeray and take his initiative ahead by doing more...

1. We should teach our kids that if he is second in class, don't study harder.. just beat up the student coming first and throw him out of the school
(I'm sure Raj Tackeray would have come last even if he was the only student in the class)

2. Parliament should have only Delhiites as it is located in Delhi

3. Prime-minister, president and all other leaders should only be from Delhi

4. No Hindi movie should be made or shown in Bombay

5. We must not allow Marathis (or other outsiders) inside the Mysore Palace or Dasara Exhibition or the Pizza corner, simply because they are outsiders.

6. All Maharashtrians working abroad or in other states should be sent back as they are SNATCHING employment from Locals

7. Lord Shiva, Ganesha and Parvati should not be worshiped in Maharashtra as they belong to north ( Himalayas )

8. Visits to Taj Mahal should be restricted to people from UP only

9. Relief for farmers in Maharashtra should not come from centre because that is the money collected as Tax from whole of India , so why should it be given to someone in Maharashtra ?

10. Let's support Kashmiri Militants because they are right in killing and injuring innocent people for benefits of there state and community

JAI MAHARASHTRA !
Why didn't we think of this before? Raj Thackeray, we didn't know being shit jobless turns you into a genius.

A Jumbo ending

How much do 619 wickets equal in runs?
How much do they include when you are not really a spinner and when you are bowling more in India?
How many more runs do you get for inspiration in the dressing room and beyond?
Once in a century, a player emerges who gives justification to the tag line "The gentleman's game" and finally, all good things come to an end.
To Jumbo - The real gentleman. The greatest match-winner, if not record breaker, ever to honour the game.
All the best to the Silent Assassin.

School..so cool

It was so much better then. I had my own place in my own world. Maybe it was insane then too but, at least I was innocent. So were everyone around. The petty fights, quickly forgotten, harmless quips, supportive teachers, the grunting bus driver, the bakery guy at the stop.
You didn't have to know who was lying.
Who is cheating.
Who is back biting.
Where Ekta Kapoor got her imagination from.
You didn't have to decide between doing two things as what would be right.
You didn't have to scold anyone nor defend anyone.
You didn't have to warn your buddies about anything.
You could expect anything from him.
You didn't have to worry about your friends image nor yours...cause you would be forgiven and everything forgotten anyway.
And personally I didn't have to wonder what all the perverts were commenting about Priya [Shame on you if you don't know her already - go scan my old posts]
You didn't have to win while being a handicap against teams taking potshots at you every now and then.
You didn't have to face people who chose to show hate than indicate.
You didn't have to wait to get online to speak to someone whom you sit next to in class.
You didn't have to listen to people talk about 'life' for everything. "Life is like this...life is like that.."
These masters of philosophy make you feel like you got lost and entered into Baba Ramdev's ashram or something! The funniest situations turn into "life" changing statements for the unfortunate beings. I always thought finding love for everyone on earth was a stupid thought...get a life!
Nobody with crafty remarks that say you are ugly or lazy or dumb or just a fool, uncool.
You didn't have to worry about adding the right emoticons/smileys at every message just so that person at the other end does not think you are serious/dejected/angry.



Most importantly...
You thought everyone around you were friends for life and now you are not so mistaken.

Why Dark Knight may not win that Oscar

You just need one loose mouth to make an outrageous comment not consistent with reality to start a rumour. Just because a bunch-o-loonies who never watched a proper action movie were humbled by TDK, the best comment they could give was, Heath Ledger will win an oscar.

First of all lets consider what are the qualifications for a movie to win an oscar...

1) The movie should not have any swift movements. Or else the 90+ years olds who are part of the jury that decides who gets the award, might have a heart attack and then there will be no oscars

2)The movie should be able to put you to sleep

3)After watching the movie, even though they found it boring people must comment "Wow! What taste, it might made my eyes water". Yeah I am sure there was water under your tightly shut lids and the dusty surface of Mars.

4)Not more than 20 Teens must have watched the movie

5)If anybody below 25 brand the movie "Cool!" then the movie is out of the oscar race.

6)The movie must not even be a fraction as foul as the people who host the academy awards functions (Chris Rock for example)

7)The word 'Fun' must be the last thing that comes to your mind when you think of the movie

Its a long list, but if I write all of them, it will put you to sleep and they will consider awarding an Oscar to my blog for it.

I watched the movie. Yes yes long back! But I just got tired of all the "oh it will definitely win an oscar" crap. Not that it does not deserve one. I think the movie itself deserves an oscar, but then don't SO MANY MOVIES THAT NEVER WON!!??

Now don't ask "like what?" cause I have watched way too many. Lagaan was quite a laugh when it generated its own hype. A commercial movie, winning an awards that was not even distantly related to anything Indian.

Getting back to TDK. Would the freaks be saying the same thing if Heath Ledger hadn't passed away so unfortunately? I mean seriously, how many freaks would have known to say that so and so movie was his/her favourite unless it was on top of an IMDB list? The most they can say to this comment is "Hey I really liked that one"....oh-oh-oh-kay!
I certainly thought he was awesome as the Joker. There are very few people who could have pulled it out as well as him. But he should have won one for Ennis Del Mar. If they decide to give one NOW just because he is dead, I doubt he will rest in peace!
Besides, (I know this sounds cold, but) even Aaron Eckhart would have generated the same yap yaps if he had passed away! duh!



The Icy Review:

If I have to give my own inputs about the movie, lemme say though the makers still cant stick to one guy to play their lead, I found Bale fits the role really well, he would be my favourite after West.

For die hard Batman fans, I had no idea they would be introducing another Villain (My favourite Batman villain )

Whatsitbout?

Batman finally wants to settle down in life with his long time friend Rachel. Icing on the cake when Gotham's white knight arrives in the new DA Harvey Dent who knows no fear. But a new breed of scum has arrived on the scene too, in the form of the Joker. Deception, sacrifice, pushing limits all bundled in between enough comic scenes between Alfred and Bruce make for a great movie. One of the best in the year and for a while.

Joker says "..You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey"

The ace in the hole from the film makers?
Casting Michael Caine as Alfred and Freeman as the legendary Mr.Fox.Gary Oldman as James Gordon.
The all new Batpod.

Some changes:
The bat 'cave'
The bat suit
The bat mobile
Bat pod
Every single actor :P as usual

The siren that plays in the background is the master stroke.

My favourite quotes:
I believe whatever doesn't kill you, just makes you - S-T-R-A-N-G-E-R!

To them you are just a freak, like me. They need you right now, when dont , they will cast you out. Like a leper.

Favourite Dialogue:
Comish Gordon: Where's HD?
Joker: What's the time?
Gordon: What difference does that make?
Joker: Depending upon the time, he might be in one place or....several!

Most gripping scene:
The chase in the lower 5th.


Where did they bungle up?
1) Joker - a freak, can just casually wander into a mob without being shot?
2)When you notice a burning bus and placed in a way most obviously indicating that the miscreants want you to take the lower 5th, will a police team transporting Harvey Dent really take the diversion?
3)Why didnt anybody notice, not even Harvey that Bruce Wayne was at the press conference where Batman was supposed to surrender?
4)When Bruce Wayne notices his own employee emerge from a wrecked, how come nobody notices that he not even slightly bothered at his sight?
5)Harvey Dent is the DA of GC and still so dumb that he thinks Batman can be killed by a bullet?


My movie craze and amount I spend talking about them might be inversely proportional, but I decided I must have a word about the action movie that impressed such a wide range of characters.
Still hoping Heath Ledger wins that Oscar :)


R.I.P

ಕನ್ನಡ ರೂಲ್ಸ್!!

ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವದ ಹಾರ್ದಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು!
ಸಿರಿಗನ್ನಡಂ ಗೆಲ್ಗೆ :)
ಕನ್ನಡ ರೂಲ್ಸ್ ಕನ್ನಡ ರೋಕ್ಕ್ಸ್ :ದ

On a "Vacation"

" Your BSNL Account usage for this month is 1.541 GB "

If you didn't understand that, I will translate it to like-duh-language for you, it says
"You wont be seeing me online or on the blogs for a really long time."
This also means, no messages on the SMS group.
Unless ofcourse I am mad enough to wake up at 6ish AM just to blog and spread the "Joy".


....HaHa!


Meanwhile:
Check out my previous post, published today!

" Everywhere I look, I see chaos, panic and destruction, I guess my job here is done! "

My worst test so far

I had my internals today and thanks to my awesome preparation and VTU's wonderfully interesting subjects, this is how both my tests went.

First 5 minutes - I was not even in class/hall (This was in the morning, in the afternoon I came on time)

5-10 Minutes - Took my question paper and filled in my USN, Name, Subject name and anything extra that I could write on the first sheet. Too bad I can't do this during the second test!

10- 20 Minutes- I stared at the question paper trying to give the teacher/invigilator an impression that I was actually going through it. Unfortunately, every time I looked up, she was looking dead straight at me

20-30 Minutes- Bond, James Bond. I was bending my head as low as possible and peeping into the blue books of the guys around me with an imaginary James Bond theme playing in the back of my mind. No, it was not helping!

30-40 Minutes - I manage to catch a glimpse of something from the book of my neighbour, and I write 4 and a half lines in the first page of my book until he turned his page.

40-45 Minutes - I write what I read in the morning newspaper(Business column) with very bad handwriting, so that she feels I wrote something subject related.

45- 50 Minutes - I busy looking at other people, trying to understand how these people ever manage to study and write so much. Wondering how I can never study like them. The invigilator is busy trying to catch me copying

50-55 Minutes - I revise what I wrote in the first sheet, checking and rechecking if all the details are filled properly

55-60 Minutes - I am writing page numbers at the bottom corners of each page.

60-65 Minutes - I make sure she catches me writing something in the last moment...just hoping against hope that she remembers this while correcting my book and doesn't understand a word of it.(Yes 5 Minutes and this was only in the morning, in the afternoon I was out on time)

For the closest and the closest only

"On the canvas of life, we often go off colour, but as long as people like you are there to add the right shades, life goes on to be a rainbow"

...for those who can't be lost, for those select few,for whom no reasons are good enough to loose, not even ego in the guise of self respect or even self respect for that matter, for those who simply can't be left out, no matter how sour the feelings from the other end get, or even sickeningly sweet.

To Dada with love...

The storehouse of guts and gumption, on his final fight...All the best!
[a year ago]

Basking in the SUN SIGN!

The secret to writing a good book about predictions they say is writing a loose set of facts that every individual who reads them thinks that it fits him/her.
First you write a lot of good stuff and you butter them up, when they are still feeling high, write some bad stuff...like nobody is perfect you know! And then, before things start to get too negative, reassure that all the bad stuff is a misunderstanding or just very rare.
But its important to point out in the beginning of the book that they ain't just a loose set of lines designed to fit all. Then everybody will believe you.
Linda Goodman wrote one such book..that became very popular! So much so that she has her own cult following. One such crazy fan is one of my closest friends and she will definitely kill me for this piece here. Here are some lines from the book that describe a Gemini:

*If you have a Mercury friend, you've probably already experienced a common Gemini habit that can be so annoying it can give you ulcers.

*Yes, I said enigma. If you expect anything else, like a man who's stable and patient, who will gently play Darby to your Joan while life and love glide on as smoothly as a gondola down a romantic canal in Venice, you're headed in the same direction as a merry-go-round. In circles. Get off fast and never mind about grabbing the brass ring. Don't let the gay, light-hearted music seduce you into following a painted scene of constantly changing colours, with shades of dreary Gray as likely to show up as sunny yellow or blissful blue. If you're an incurable romantic, seeking perfect harmony, you're in more than a little danger. (What the hell man?)

*Geminis tend to discard old friends for new ones

*it's not a good idea to expect a Gemini husband to give all females a cold shoulder just because he wears a wedding band.

*Will he be faithful to you? In his fashion, yes, he will. There are a thousand answers to that question where Mercury is concerned. (Which obviously means "NO! RUN! )

She is quite clever since she comes back to each of these features not less than a para later to say that its rare or manageable or whatever and makes sure that she doesn't invite the wrath of any Gemini. I guess this goes on for every sign, but I read only Gemini.

Tis certainly well written and one of the reasons why I have lost a lot of friends to that damned book.

All said and done, I don't see why you need to waste time by making friends and getting to know people...all you gotta do is ask the people for their sun sign and then refer the book!
Now why didn't I think of that earlier?

Wanna work as a webmaster for Greenpeace?

Job Title: Web Projects Officer
Department: New Media
Reports to: New Media Manager
Location: Bangalore, India
Type: Full-Time
Salary: Rs. 26,989 per month
Grade: 5

Check out this link for more:
http://www.greenpeace.org/india/about/jobs/web-projects-officer

Gandhi Jayanthi

A letter to dad.

Dear Parent,

Warm greetings to you (How cheesy?!)

This is to bring to your kind (??) notice that the performance of your son in the class during this semester is a concern for the blah blah blah (...crap...) ....it appears that your son has shortage of attendance.

Kindly make yourself available to meet the HOD of .......blah blah blah...more crap..(...some poop...).

With warm regards,
(yes that was quite warm thank you)

yours sincerely,
Dickhead of Town.

(And the sign looks like some 87 year old delusional dope locked up in a mental hospital attempting to write in Persian - " Weed in need ")


***
Thanks to Mahatma Gandhi and his Ahimsa principles, dad did not touch me all through Oct 2nd, after receiving this letter.
Well its a different story that he did more than touch me, after Midnight of Oct 2nd!
Now I really know what peace means. Gandhijiki Jai!

~~;{@ @};~~

End of an era

Mum made coffee

I got college at 9:30 AM and thus I finally decide that its high time I am completely awake. I throw my double protection of snug rugs over so that some cold air will sting my senses. Pluto is outside, whining away at dad to take him out as usual. Dad is fighting with some vegetable vendor, as usual.
Mum is asking him to stop fighting , as usual.
So I guess I got lots of time, after all its only 9:01 AM....9???????

27 minutes later, miraculously enough I am in the hall, I bathed, fed (up), dressed, packed and everything else that needs to be done before going to coll, when I realise that I deserve to catch my breath. So I sit there with the newspaper in hand, sipping slowly on the mum-made-coffee one of the few pleasures in this world that comes without much of hard work.

It's so fine, its so fine...baby I'm lost in time.

Enlightenment strikes outta the blue, I realise I should have been in Java class 3 mins ago. Run Jack Run!

I cook up a master excuse or just barge and stare at our lecturer, who usually lets late comers in and the rest of the day goes smooth.

In the evening, my gang meets up for a good game of cricket, which hardly involves cricket and usually got more to do with laughs. When we are done with the game and standing outside the house for our daily dose of chit chat (at unusually high decibel levels- the street has had enough of us) mum decides to intervene and keep us quite, by , how else? but a cup of coffee each!

Most of us drink coffee, there are a few occasional oochy-koochies who drink only milk!

Little did I know how important these sequence of actions meant to the lot of them. I mean, pardon me for thinking that living life as me must be one of the most luckiest things in life ;)
I loved the way most of my days go by.

Yesterday I was getting these forwards that say: " If we ever loose contact, what things will remind you of me? " I replied to every person who sent me that forward and asked them to reply for the same.

The most interesting answer I got was:

Your jokes, stories, the way you make everyone joyous, the way you care for your friends
Last but not the least
Your mom made coffee :)

Was that for me???????

Every now and then, I get this question after a particular post,
"Hi, I read what you wrote, was that for me? "
That is just one of the most bold/direct/no-beating-around-the bush type questions. There are other types though,
"Who is that for?"
"Hey, you wrote?....no?...ok.....seriously, you didn't write?...I mean last night....??...you didn't?....ok" (Come on)
"I think you should write more often, especially what is on your mind"
"Ok, now don't mock me on Insanity Unlimited!!!"

I have just about had enough of such queries. NO GOD DAMN IT!!! IT WAS SO NOT FOR YOU!!! ALRIGHT????
(YOU WISH!)

About a year back, I used to write once each day. Sometimes even twice. Use the archives, it ain't so hard to figure out. Then I started getting questions. There were questions and then there were questions! They started making me think twice before I posted anything.
- oh maybe he will think that I was being mean to him/her
- what if he/she thinks this was for him/her?

Gradually, the frequency of the posts came down. It was like there was almost nothing to write.
Once thing is crystal clear -
A joke is always on someone. Whether you intended it or not. Looks like not many people realised it. And this time, it was clearly on me, for being rattled by the questions.

There are a few other things crystal clear -
1. If any words were meant for you, then it would most probably be addressed to you.
2. I will continue to write what I feel, cause I just don't care.


Shoot first, speak later.

Satanic intentions...

I am so evil, I am so sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

But, as long as you are busy stabbing me,
remember, you are just another fish in the sea.
Only Best of the best, I have chosen to be,
My buddy , a chum who'll keep me happy.

"Why are you encouraging him, What does he mean to you?"
"He means shit! It's just the 'Right' thing to do."
"You mean you don't care what comes out of this?"
"Of course I do, I wouldn't give spying a miss!?!"

You were my friend, you were doing a favour?
favour my foot, you wouldn't care if I was dying of fever..
Bitching and backtalk, were your plans for the day,
Blind trust there was and you made all the hay.

Once a promise always a promise, I'll keep my word,
but my trust for you, flew away like a giant free bird.
You put a chameleon to shame, U-turns are rife?
I'm still sorry if my back hurt your knife!
You think you are immaculate near God's abode?
think again , I am behind the next dark cloud.
I won't remember, I won't seek vengeance
but better start packing to hell's darkest dungeons.

I'll wind up my song, I won't cause you more fear,
It's the thought that matters, oh dear...
I am so evil, I am so bad!!
when the U-turns are rife..
I'm still sorry, if my back hurt your knife!

How to connect to BSNL broadband from fedora 9 ??

Thats one question that was stuck in my head from as long as I can remember. You see I was running many versions of linux on my notebook. But continuously had problems making full use of it. You see, installing Linux on a notebook especially a HP/Compaq itself a pain in the tail. Next was the bigger problem, I connect to the net using a BSNL Broadband connection, one that uses a UT-300R2U modem. It is the kind in which you are not automatically connected to the internet at startup. I gotta double click on the BSNL Icon on the desktop and then connect.

NOTE: If you are in a terrible hurry to find out the answer then scroll down to the words in pale-yellow and follow the instructions.

Are you wondering what a "Solve a linux problem" is doing on Insanity unlimited?Dont wonder...just read. Its not the problem thats the topic, its the solution or the abundance and yet lack of it.

After finally loading my notebook with a Fedora 9, I set out on the first task of mounting partitions. I somehow managed some quick fix solutions using root users. My second task was to connect to the internet. Now, how many people in the world, work on a Fedora 9 and have a BSNL BroadBand connection that doesnt connect on startup but only one manual dial (Double click and connect) through a UT-300R2U modem????
I am guessing not too many. Now I setout on the job of the painful Google R&D to find out the answer to one of the big questions in life ( 3rd biggest but only for the week) - How to connect to BSNL broadband from fedora 9 ??
it turns out there are many people who seek answers to the same question and quite a few geeks who have answered them on the net. "Answered" is not the end of the story my friend.
One guy lists out a set of numbers DNZ, IP, TCP, Subnet mask, BBT, POT , SOB and what not. We have to try all that at some imaginary place in Fedora 9 that this guy probably keeps dreaming about.
Another guy came in with a set of instructions that had everything to do from installing a set of softwares to whacking the hell out of some port thats on my system! - Right!

There were about 6 other guys whose solutions were more dramatic than the other. I tried all the methods one by one, pushing my hands into the deepest slimiest trenches of the Linux system, even stood upside. I felt like I was ready for the toughest Yoga sessions after being done with these. But no...the internet was still miles away.

While banging my head on my keyboards ( A practice developed while trying in vain to solve other problems) as my head moved closer to the keyboard the visibility of my system tray improved and I noticed a small icon which looked like a mouse( Intended to look like a network adapter - as I realised later). Curious I clicked on it. It had popped up a ballon that read "Network now disconnected".
One of the GREAT solutions provided by the geniuses online had done enough to disconnect my modem and connect it again, but definitely not connect it to the internet. But thanks to the modem restart the balloon had popped up.

Voila! I discovered the four step procedure to connect to the net. It is so simple so stupid. What all the techno crap couldnt do, four mouse clicks managed it in unders 20 seconds. Here it is:

>Right-click on the icon in the system tray that looks like a mouse or network plug/adapter
>Click on Edit Connections
>Select tab DSL
>Click on 'ADD'
>Enter your login information ( Connection name - "BSNL", username and password are as provided by BSNL, can leave service field blank)
>Click ok.
>Now come back to your desktop. Left click on the same icon and select 'BSNL', by default its connected to 'system eth0'.
>It will prompt you for the password again. Enter it and click connect.

You should be ready to go.




Now the bigger question in life! What the *&^%$# hell were the other guys talking about??????????? I can't believe 4-5 click solution could solve this mess.




NOTE: If this doesn't work for you either, then good look discovering your own solution, which you can post on the net and please go easy on me in your article. Thanks in advance.

>For those who NOW think I am turning into a geek - Better Stop thinking.
>No my DP on gtalk is not Tux, the linux penguin
>This post was pending for 9 days!

Ahhh!! That smell of fresh air...

It is common for most HRs to ask the candidates to draw a graph of their achievements in exams. Pray not I will be asked for such a graph. You may have gone on the most dangerous roller coasters in the world, but just watching my graph will make your head spin and you will be puking like a borewell pump in no time.

The ups and down on this one resemble the Himalayas, but the Himalayas stop at ground zero.

The results from my last sem, 5th sem was not helping things either. It was obvious that I had hit rock bottom and I had started to dig! Sometimes, you just don't see how things can turn around. You throw your hands in the air and exclaim- Thats it, even the almighty can't pull this one OFF.

After finishing off 6th sem exams, I kept shouting out the fact that I would end up with atleast 4 backs on my back. It was by far my worst performance. The 5th sem exams, were actually the opposite. It was my best performance after entering branch and it turned out to be the worst result I ever got.

On 3rd, Sep, word had it that our results would be out the next day. On discussion with a friend online, I was wondering if I should atleast try and make some money off my results. I was thinking of a bet, a bet that I would end up with 4 backs. I was THAT SURE! Just when I was about to do that, he said "Wait!...check if results are out"
I just madly started to pray for a miracle. I was hoping to have something more like 2 backs instead of 4. 2 was better than 4 right?

god god god....


Voila! No backs!

One and a half years! One and a half years I had not felt how it was to be a person without a backlog. I just could not believe it.

I pressed ctrl+f and entered "Fail". - No result

I pressed ctrl+f and entered "F". - Two results (first one was in "of" the other was in "Software"

I pressed ctrl+f and entered my name - It was my result!


I decided to give in to that deep deep realisation of true satisfaction. What a day! Historic!

The aggre? Well its gone below 60 now. But, hey, I already got that job din I? Is that great timing or what?

The rest of the day was spent understanding that it was a really weird result by VTU. Did they read my blog or something? Big guns were gunned down, while I had no backs? And then the site stopped opening after the most obvious server crash. Thats what happens when you release Tom Dick and Harry's result on the same day. I think another record was set when every single person pinged me to check out a big list of USNs each! You could cut the tension with knife, or a blade, or poke it with a screw driver or..you get the idea. I just wish good luck for the victims of the weird results.

Well there you have it -
It took a weird result from VTU to gimme an all clear result. I am not surprised in that case!

I had forgotten what fresh air smelt like! It now seems to be filling me lungs full on.

And then came TM

First there was Infy. The story is old!
Then TCS they didn't shortlist me.
Thoughtworks, whoa, I was shortlisted this time, but it would be unfair if a guy like me had got into it. I would have deprieved someone really brainy of his rightful place.
After these three companies, there was a long lull. I would show up on time, in the college all the time, only to be told that I won't be allowed to take their tests. Not once did I feel dejected. It was usually like 'Awright, whose next?'.
After all - The world cant keep a guy like me jobless for too long.

And then came TM.

I had learned the previous night that it was confirmed to be a mass. i.e, I wouldn't get a chance to write for another co if I got into this one. So I had my doubts anyway. Not that I was sure about getting into it, but I calculate mathematically, while expecting the worst. I took suggestions from friends.
Finally I decided to stop being ambitious. I had barely a few hours before the reporting time when links started pouring in for papers and stuff. Honestly, I could not get myself to look at them. I just passed them onto others who were more serious about the company. I felt like kicking myself, cause I thought I would be blaming this attitude for still being unemployed the next day.


The morning, I arrived late by over half an hour. But the HRs set the benchmark for punctuality in their organisation by being One and a half hours late, so I had to sit and wait for one hour anyway.

The HR Manager, actually left me cracking with his mindless bungles during the PPT. He said "All of you at the back having been standing for 2 years". When the hall burst into a roar of laughter, he realised (or was probably prompted by someone sitting in the front) and said "HOURS! HOURS! Not years...two hours". The PPT was no less funny. People attending the classes kept messaging
"How was the test? How was the test? "
I kept replying
"PPT is funny! PPT is funny!"
One guy looked like he had four sets of teeth, which could barely fit into his mouth. It was hard to make out whether he was smiling or angry. The rest looked like Juniors from another college. Maybe they were.

The Online Aptitude test was a nothing. Thanks to our college (Which will be a globally acknowledged institution...blah blah) , our systems powered off due to a power failure. Hello? Ever heard of a UPS Mr.Globally Acknowledged?
Good News: I got 10 minutes extra when the power returned
Bad news: The power kept failing and the system kept shutting down. I? I kept banging my head on the table.
OK-OK news: I didnt need the extra time as I finished 25 mins ahead.

Earlier than I thought, I was told I would be called in next, when Kavs showed up to explain the same project to me. She had run out of CGI Laboratory on the pretex of drinking water to help me out.

I was called in soon. The Tech Interview went on well, with only basic programs being asked.

I came out in about 40 minutes.

I am now telling everyone that I am sure to be called for HR.

Barely 5 mins later I was called in for HR which was pretty bad. We found out that I actually was not eligible to take up their test in the first place. Before letting me out, he made it clear that I couldn't be employed by them.

What we need we not always want. Getting this job was still important because
1) I don't have to dodge bullets from Dad
2) Results were going to be announced. My aggre would then be below 60 + 4 backs
3) Over Ambition is a main source of undoing.
4)Ego aside, get your butt employed first , said a voice from inside. And also some messages on chat, let alone the people shouting at me all the way to college.

I was recalling how everyone kept thinking that I was sad and dejected for not being placed. I wrote about my condition on my blog only because it was my condition and it is my blog. I was not sad or dejected. The reactions were more like "Aww its ok" instead of "Haha! Point! ".
I had to get this for them too?

2005 HRs (5 past 8 pm in simpler words)
The result was announced, and by now you must have realised my name was in the list.

All the best to Pradeep and Shambu. Two of my close friends, who deserved a job that day more than anyone else. I know a hot seat is waiting for you somewhere, I can't wait till you are on it.

God Bless!

WTF Institute of technology and the curse of Batch '09

Let me make it clear - this is not a post of disgust,frustration, dejection or anger related in any way to my latest run of poor luck. It's just about what went wrong where and definitely a discussion in more general terms, concerning my whole batch of 2009.

Yes, we are batch 2009, not batch 2005 - YOU FOOLS! A lady in the office also jumped yesterday morning when I said I belonged to the 2009 Batch. She nearly fainted. Before she could ask me what the future looked like and how I traveled back in time, I quickly added "That will obviously mean, I am expected to pass out in that year -2009. Ummm I joined in 05, maybe thats the year you want? " with a sheepish smile. The reason I was being so extremely careful with my temper and sharp tongue was that the lady had gone out her way to give me my 4th Semester Marks Card so that I could apply for my education loan on time and in the process, make sure I could pay off for my final year. Nice lady she was.

For some of you, who might be wondering what happened to my loan, well I did manage to do something about it, FINALLY. For the moment, its working, until and unless, the bank does notice something strange about it. Pray it wont.

Now whats this curse I was talking about? Ah yes! The batch is definitely cursed. Everyone would have expected it to be the other way around when the management seats came under CET jurisdiction. We got in dirt cheap compared to what it would have been otherwise. Anyway, as the old saying goes - Getting to the top is one thing, staying there is another. I realised the full meaning of that line in the past three years.

To begin with- The Uniform code: Now why the hell do we need it? Gimme one good reason. The way they spoke about the students dressing sense, one would half expect the girls to be showing up as item girls and the boys to be wearing bras over their heads. Trust me, to be going to degree college looking like Factory workers, is definitely more sick than showing up like nature intended us to initially.

The class was split into two sections: Well lets face it, all of us are not exactly brothers and sisters in love. I don't want to write all lies here w.r.t cunning diplomacy, just because my classmates read my blog. But, to be honest, it hurts. At the end of the day, its not the same.
A bunch of people had nothing to do, except meet and have a cup of tea every evening, so just decided to split the class into two! You know, drawing a line exactly down the middle is serious business. It takes experience,brains and lots of talent. Now they didn't have to worry about their mind being turned into the devils workshop. We have to be content with meeting the other half at the canteen table or the parking lot, until ofcourse, the watchman chases us away.

The PC elections: I never wrote about this did I? Most people like to say I am still burning at what happened, so I have decided to add a few lines in that regard. Actually I am not. I did what I did, out of respect to request from some friends. It was the right thing to do, or else it would have been sheer arrogance. What might hurt is the fact that some other friends thought (and probably still think) that I did it for personal reasons. While some others say, I was never good enough. Rubbing salt into the wounds is the fact that I can never prove that wrong. But, when I do look back, this is not a big issue to me at all. I admit, for 2 days after that, it was a big issue. I experienced first hand why its all called DIRTY POLITICS. Nobody is spared.
The Curse part is not all related to me. Its related to the beginning of the new set of rules administered over these processes. This will be made clear when you read on. The new set of rules, were because of the ISO9001 certificate.
If all the efforts that were spent in pursuing this certificate were on the other hand spent on something directly related to the benefit of the students. We would have made greater inroads to success. When that would happen, the certificate would have no other place to go, but us.
Now we have the certificate. SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW IT #()^!#&% HELPED US??????????


PO:
This is a tale of two people from the same criminal branch. One was a mad man, but he did his job. The other was very sane, but he only assumed his job. No points for guessing which man arrived to the hot seat for Batch 2009. He runs away to a secluded corner to get drowned in a pool of smoke, out of tension, even if he hears so much as a mouse breaking the wind at the other end of the campus. Pappu Can't officiate Saala. I have witnessed his bravado with the HRs first hand.

The Policy:
JC has a 3 job policy I hear. I wonder if its called a No Job policy around here?
No, honestly, the policy is fine.Or maybe not.
I will present you with a scenario, you decide- when companies visit campuses, they expect the students to be keen and expect a lot of aspirants. You have given them full funda status - dream/open dream/nightmare...whatever!! They are also very excited. On the D day, a handful of students show up at the seminar hall. They are the only ones allowed to write. Oh boy!
Don't get me wrong...I am not speaking for myself, I can not even dream about dreaming of getting into a dream.Allow me to be the first to admit that(Before somebody jumps at the chance at being a Smart Alec). I am only elaborating on the curse.

The Dollar recession:
Batch affected - 2009. I don't think I have to say anything else?

The great Indian bias:
Don't even get me started on biased situtations. To cut a long story short, the officers are always so Mechanical, if you know what I mean. And so, it happens that the Mass companies are never invited first. Its the Mech Core companies who show up first. Good luck, explaining that logic( Though you never explain your actions).
There was a company, a cigarette company to be more specific (Ill try to keep things as anonymous as possible) visiting. They didn't want people who led mechanical lives. The officer in charge led a mechanical life. Rama Rama! He ensured that our PC did not make any progress with negotiations. This may take a personal turn, so I will end this story there. To keep this article as general as possible.


You might have something to add. Be my guest. But whatever anybody has to say, one cant agree more on the fact that, our batch is cursed.

What is more amazing is that, no matter what the policy, who the official, whatever the problems, students still came back from behind and got themselves the jobs they deserved.

Some birds are not meant to be caged, their feathers are too bright!

HR at TM

The guy is busy on his notebook. He gestured me to sit down. I was wondering what kind of interesting questions he might put out of the hat. I was just working on which accent/voice/dialect to use on him, and what all ways I could totally throw a bedsheet (Make that carpet) over his head, blinding him enough to think I am worth recruiting.
It was a silent two minutes, silence broken only by his constant tap-tap on his keyboard. One of the PCs even brought in a cup of coffee and to my luck kept it RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I hadn't a shot of caffeine in about 10 hours. The smell of strong coffee seemed to be wafting ONLY into my nostrils...
Lo, and behold, I was a tiny man, standing on the rim of a giant coffee cup. Ah, a big ocean of coffee in front of me...all for me. Just lying there. I take a big spring like coil towards the ground and jump high up in the air , moving forwards, about to dive into that depth-less pool of warm, sweet coffee, I am inches away from touching the surface...



HR: AHEM! So give me your documents Mr...

(Whoa? I was back)

Me: Oh yeah...here you are.
I was surprised at the way the interview began. Do they ask any conventional questions around here???

Another minute in silence, as I try not to think of Coffee or even look at it.

HR: Take a look at this document please!

Hands me a letter - "I will work anywhere in any shithole, under any designation as anything...blah blah blah"

I took a look at it and kept it on table.

HR: Whats your aggre?

Me: 60.3% Sir!

HR: Did you sign that?

Me: Oh you wanted me to? Sure!

I signed and handed it over to him. He threw it to his left on the table and..

HR: What did you say your aggre was?

Me: 60.3..SIR!

HR(Gesturing frantically): Come here!!!

I carefully cross the cables of the power adapter to which his laptop was hooked onto. He pointed at his screen, I bent and took a look at the number which said "59.96".

Me(Trying to look as if I didnt realise it): What is that sir?

That was my aggre! Yes. There are two waysof calculating aggre
1) Average of percentage obtained in each sem

2)Total marks obtained throughout BE/ Total maximum marks granted in BE
The second method is also known as "What the hell" Method.

The HR did not buy my look. He kept pointing at the number. I realised that - 'This is as far as you go"
I wanted to just go out of the room, accepting my fate. After all, I was not sure of what I wanted anyway. But the way he had gestured at me to come closer was irritating me. I didn't want to be labelled a cheat in his mind, whether he gave me a job or not.

I just my hand into my shirt and took out my placement ID card

Me: Sir, this is a pink card, its given only to those who are above 60% aggre. Around here and usually in all companies, aggre is calculated in a different way ( I explained method 1).

He thought for a while. Then he changed the formulas on his spreadsheet document (With a lot of help from me) to show the new aggregates. When he pressed enter, the site on the bottom most cell was a movie-to-my eyes!
The number 60.3% sat pretty snug in its little cell on that Excel Document.

HR: Go back to your seat.

I didn't want to go back to my seat anymore. I just wanted to go.

HR: This is not the right method to calculate the aggre.

Me: Ok sir.

HR: Fine, tell me what you wanna do in life.

My mouth ran like its life depended on it. But, thats usually the case,isnt't it?
You don't ask people like me to speak and expect to be lost in translation. Its not a talent, its a curse! Half the food I eat is digested to provide energy for my voice box.

After a good show.

HR: Good! You see we calculate aggre in this way, and we need 60% at the time of joining. I cant take you in sorry.

Me: ok. But, My aggre will be way past 60% in the end.

HR: Is it? How come?

Me: Its no secret you score loads in 8th semester. And I love 7th sem subjects.

HR: How will you manage then?

Next 5 minutes I spent trying to make him think I can really nail 7th and 8th semesters. When suddenly he realises he completely missed 6th sem.

HR: WAIT! What about 6th sem?

Me: Oh 6th sem is bad. Its bad. My aggre will go down.

I somehow didnt feel like I should lie.

HR:How have you fared?

Me: Not so good score. My aggre will go down after the 6th sem results.

HR: What about backs?

Now I didnt feel like I should be speaking so much of truth. I knew (Then) that I was sure to fail in 4 subjects, yet...


Me: No backs! No sire! Absolutely none!

HR: You have any backs now?

Me: Yeah. Its a subject called AMP

HR: Oh?????????????????

Me: Yep.

HR: Well, I can't let you in with a record like that. You have great marks in 10th. But look at your curve now. We cannot allow this.

Me:Hmmm

I didn't want to press any further.

HR:How many interviews have you attended before this?

Me:This is my first interview :)

HR: What happened to the others?

Me: I was not shortlisted for TCS, I was shortlisted for Thoughtworks, but I didn't get past the second round.

HR: What about the other companies?

Me: I was not eligible

HR: How you were not eligible?

Me: I have a running backlog.

HR: You ALSO HAVE A RUNNING BACKLOG?????

Me: Yeah!

HR: What happened at the second round at Thoughtworks?

Me: They wanted C++ Coders, I coded in C. My program's partial output was not helping either.

HR: How many C++ Coders are there in VTU?

Me: I can code in C++ sir.

HR: Then why didn't you?

Me: Cause I didn't know they were particular about C++. I just decided to do it in C.

HR: Well, you wanted to get in Thoughtworks?

Me: Its a good company.

HR: Yeah I know. It is a good company.

<- silence->

HR: Well, I don't have anything else to ask or say. Do you have any questions?

Me: No sir.

HR: Thank you. That will be all.

Tech interview at TM

The technical interview, for those concerned went on like this:

THR: Please sit down
(I sat down)
and...


and...


and...


The fellow, went out and disappeared for 15 mins.


When he finally returned, he asked no common questions, he went straight to pointing out I am a loser..


THR: So Ice, Why are your marks so bad?

Me( A bit taken aback): Ummm, I didn't study?

THR: But yours marks are great in 10th. Quite good in PU and uptil 2nd sem. What happened after that?

Me(Now smiling): I didn't study....sir.

THR: Why?

Me: I don't have the best memory around here...and I was...

THR(Interrupts): No no, you don't need any memory to write exam, its all conceptual.

Me: No sir, I have really poor memory, as long as its got theory, I can't reproduce what I studied. I had difficulties in some particular subjects too, which obviously did great damage to my aggregates and...

THR(Interrupts..again): Which subject?


Me: Like, AMP...


THR: Whats AMP?

Me: Advanced Micro Processors

THR(Eyes wide open): That was tough for you?

Me: Yes sir, I couldn't remember anything for too long and...

THR(Eyes wider): AMP?

Me: Yeah?

THR(Eyes now so wide open that he reminded me of Ursula Andress): Whats there to study in AMP???????????? (Probably swearing in his mind, as it was now clear that this was his subject)
There is nothing to understand in AMP, that was tough for you????????

(I decided to name his Interrupt as the THR Interrupt, since we were talking about AMP anyway!)

Me: YES! Thats why I found it tough. There is nothing to understand. Everything to mug up....SIR! (With a sarcastic smile I think)

Well, we pretty much just argued for the next 5 minutes and the end, I decided to give up and we both agreed that I was a pathetic student. Hope you got the gist of the beginning.

As I was about to wonder whether he would ask me a single technical question...

***********************************************************
(The following conversation is only for those who want to know in detail as to what went on during technical interview, you may skip this till the next set of red asterices cause there is nothing important in between)

THR: Can I ask you some questions on C?

Me: Sure sir, go ahead! (Finally)

THR: Write a program, to check for a palindrome.

I kept waiting for him to complete his question, when I realised, that , that was the question!Right-O!

I wrote a program using Stack.

THR: Write it without using any data structure.

Me: No data structure? Not even arrays?

THR: Oh! hehe, You can use arrays.

(He was probably playing- Not sure...point to be noted)

I wrote a different program with arrays.

THR: Now write one with improved efficiency.

I just modified it to scan only till the middle element.

THR:OK...

(after 2 minutes of starting)

THR: Write a program to convert this string (And he wrote some string aabbakkdl sort of gibberrish ) into this ( And he wrote another, removing a wherever it had come twice consequitively)


Me: The program will be quite long

THR: Yeah, just explain your concept with some notations, Ill check.

I gave him an explaination that I thought was right.

THR(After scrutinizing my explaination): hmmm...ok. Write a program to remove all vowels from a string.

I had been asked this program before, and I had managed it quite easily after 2 tries, so this time I got it in the first shot.

THR:Write a program to find the second highest element in a set of elements.

Me: I sort the elements and...

THR(with the THR Interrupt): No sorting business. One scan.

For this I used two variables one for the highest element scanned so far (max1) and another for the next highest (max2). Piece of cake. This is an insane blog, not a geek blog, so I wont go in detail about a program that a high school student could crack.

He just argued about my program for a loooooooooooooooooooooong time about time complexity. Finally he accepted that I was right.

THR: Write a program to check for LCM.

Me(Straight away): I don't know.

(I had forgotten everything about LCM, I didnt want to look like a fool)

THR(Almost insulting): You don't know this simple program?

Me(Sheepish smile): Hehe, I forgot the formula...and...stuff...

THR(Now laughing): Formula? What Formula??? You answered all these and you don't know LCM?

I decided to smile silently.

***********************************************************

THR: Your Technical is solid, but aggre...

(Sorry, I couldn't leave that out. This is a compliment I won't forget for a long time! )

THR: The H.R will throw you out for sure.

Me: If my technical is good, whats the problem...Sir? You can mention to him that I am good.
(Desperate times call for unexpected dialogues)

THR: How are you technically good?

This question kind of startled me, he was asking me to prove a statement he had made!

Me: Well, I am good at coding. I am sure you will agree, sir.

Statement1: I am good at coding.

statement2: My strength is coding

Statement1 will cause many people to feel their butts were blown up with Napalm. Only

Statement 2 is true. Yes I lied to the HR. I am not a good coder, my strength is coding.

THR: Ok! But after the training, we may put you anywhere, Networks , developer etc,...

(Now MY eyes were reminding him of people)

THR...You must not say "I want programming" and all

Me(Almost Jumping): Sure Sir. No problem. Definitely Sir. Ofcourse Sir...

He was getting up when

Me: I can give that LCM program a shot?

THR: No thanks, that will be all. You can leave.

Me: Thank you sir.

As I walk out, a million ghazillion people wanna know what went on inside, and this detailed conversation was obviously for them.

Hey! What about your placements?

It's finally time. I had been watching my seniors sweat it out. Work their butts out day in and day out to land themselves a tag called 'Employed'. Sometimes it you used to hurt to see some guys never make it through after all the efforts. I took enough care not to bring up the issue of placements when they were around. Of course, back then, I was sure I would pull this off clean (God knows why ). Then out of the blue...something happened.

What happened?

5th sem results happened!
All hell broke loose and life went topsy turvy. The only results I had been totally positive about. Well, I don't speak much about the past unless its something really pleasant or Insane, so why start now?

FastForward to beginning of 7th sem. The most asked question in the past two months, at an average of about 5 times a day is..

"Hey! What about your placements? " (Not to mention the smileys )

Well, most of the times its quite understandable that people out of touch tend to ask this wondering what they missed out on. But about 70% of these people are the ones I meet almost everyday. At the beginning I used to be all Happy Gilmore about it saying " The companies were unlucky ", but now, even though I am not exactly pissed or dejected, I use the most sensible reply-

"Well!! If I was placed, I would have told you about it right? And if I haven't doesn't that mean I am not placed? "

Having said that, I still don't mind the question. It only doesn't make any sense to me to ask a question you already know the answer to.

Anyway, A guy like me can't be kept jobless for too long, Insha Allah, you will hear from me very soon. [And if you don't - oh well, as I have always said, guess no company was lucky enough ;) ]

At every window, every door, in every heart!

Not because anybody else is writing about this, not because its on everybody's minds and definitely not because of the date....

Only because I feel this in my heart!


60 years ago, so many men and women gave their lives, for what they thought will be a great nation. I don't know if its the greatest, with our politicians, corrupt organisations and the government employees...
..but I do know that it is one of the greatest , just because of the rest of the people who are sweating it out, for the country, with every sense of what our tricolours stand for...

I celebrated my Independence day by waking up late - as usual.
I did not hoist a flag today, nor did I witness someone else do it. I did not listen to the national anthem (yet). I did not speak or hear someone do so about India. But then, thats only because I don't need a date to do all this. Aug 15th or not, I am always patriotic. I listen to and sing the anthem on other days too. It's for the ones who don't, that Independence day exist. The only day most lay men will go on for minutes and minutes (not necessarily hours) about how great India is, only to go home and complain about what all the country has not done for him? (as the saying goes :) , which I will not quote here).


...because of every soldier, farmer and people who are Indian in every sense...I am Proud to be an Indian. If I could choose to be born in any country, as much as I am in awe of some other countries...there is no place like India.
Jai Hind!

Some things you don't know about me

Everybody gets questions about themselves that sometimes go unanswered either because you don't know the answer yourself or because its asked too many times...or they are just DAMN WEIRD! They come from all directions - personally, sms, email, scrap, phone calls et all. Here is an attempt to answer just a few of the ones that I get. Warning-This post sounds a bit self-centered though the intention is to write about me. (Members of my hate-club: better stay away for your own peace of mind.)
Call it an FAQ , but I guess it should be called FAWQ ( Use your imagination)....because of questions like...

Q)Who is your best friend?
Q)Where do you live?
Q)You are OLDER THAN US :O?
Q)You have a GF? (Like you would care :P )
Q)Hi, Can I order two pizzaz and a diet coke?
Q)Why do you always crack jokes? (Because my skull is too hard to do the same)
Q)Is that a medula oblongata in your head?
Q)Where do you get your crazy ideas from?
Q)Who are you?

...and many other such questions.Here goes a list of facts...

*I wrote diary for 13 years without fail, every single day from 1995 to 2007 (Ok fine, I skipped a few days) , until finally when I did not find a diary good enough to write in, this year.
*I always wanted to learn to play drums.
*I used to sing in every school show (annual day,independence day,republic day...) until my voice broke.
*I also used to dance.(Lets not talk about that)
*Now if I sing, I may need to be hospitalized after the mob is through with me.
*I was detained in 9th standard(Lets not talk about that either)
*In 9th I also wanted to learn the guitar.
*All my life, I wished for a sister.
*Everytime I get to know a new person, I can't help thinking I discovered a new colour.
*I have always been crazy about computers and everything related, though my marks cards suggest otherwise. I wanted to enter B Sc in C Sc if I didn't make it to where I am.
*I was under pressure to become a doctor. I am proud I made my own decision.
*I completely realise that I am not a looker and I certainly do not need the cheeky one-liners, insults and indirect abuses made to imply the same. People who think and/or say the opposite are just sweet type.
*I am lazier than I seem.
*I wish to open a state-of-the-art animal shelter someday.
*I like everyone who shows a bit of good and a bit of evil.
*I believe-A person with bad habits but admits it with complete honesty is a person worth my trust.
*Nobody ever "betrayed" me nor broke my heart or any such sort of thing, no matter what my testimonials say.
*I believe- My career may get off to a shaky start, but the future is bright.
*I love comic books.
*I hate leaving any job incomplete. Not that I have completed everything I have started.
*I am not as emotional a person as my blogs say. In fact, I am supposed to be the most "stone hearted" around, which is also not true.
*I don't understand myself sometimes.
*You never find me standing alone for too long. If I am, you can safely assume I am feeling horrible.
*I have never won anything , any competition , that has really satisfied me completely. Something that made me feel that I really deserved it.
*I don't mind being called a loser.
*I Hate diplomatic people. Diplomats are the most cunning people you can come across, they are never worthy of any trust. I had to deal with one just a few hours before writing this post and the smoke hasn't stopped coming out of my ears.
*I have never on my own effort/decision ever stopped speaking to a person or broken all contacts with anybody before. I doubt there will be a first time, this time.
*I don't mind saying sorry even if its not my mistake.
*I have a really huge ego.
*Sometimes, I am really arrogant.
*I speak in atleast 5 different ways(accents/dialects) in Kannada and English each. In either case, I have forgotten which is my original. I don't like to speak about it.
*I know I have absolutely no talent that I can speak of.
*I understand that jokers have no place in the real world. And being funny is not a talent, besides there are people who rather give up their mojo than to admit that I am funny. Which I am not -happy?
*I do not like people who are not original.
*I prefer the internet to my cell.
*My stuff - notebook, cell, bag, cupboard all are very personal.
*In the next 5 yrs, I wouldn't mind turning into a flirt.
*I have been 5 different people in the past 9 years.
*I have been known to stay away from people and things that I love the most, just for the greater good.
*I am far from pure of heart.
*I like Animated movies.
*I don't mind being under-estimated. Mainly because, nobody can ever really do that!
*I sleep 2 hours of deep sleep a day.
*I lay on my bed for about 10 hours a day.
*Whats on this page today, maybe gone tomorrow.
*I was once called 24X7 online.
*That nickname is a fading memory.
*I deleted 17 people from my list this month alone and nobody noticed it.
*Swimming is my favourite recreational activity.
*I thank god for Coffee, Chocolate and Cricket.
*I believe - No dream is too big to be let go off.
*The Matrix is my favourite movie - because I had imagined something like that before.(I know its hard to believe.)
*I don't let too many people be my close friends. I still don't know why.
*I say 'Life is good' at least two times a day and never to sound/feel optimistic.
*I believe only 10% of the people who visit my blog will read this one completely.
*I write really lengthy blogs.


This will be updated when I discover new things about myself. Find this on the right side of this page all the time.