So what am I trying to say?

Have you ever had this frustrating time when people try to find a different meaning within what you are trying to say?
Well..me too...LIKE EVERY DUCKING TIME I WANNA SAY SOMETHING!

Most of you might have noticed that one of my last posts - "Do you have it in you?" has been deleted. My apologies to the people who read and/or commented, but I didn't want it on my blog anymore.
It was a simple post aimed at bragging about my non-existent fitness. Obviously, having been called a fitness freak during my 11th and 12th (I wonder if it was because of the 1 KM Swim and 21 KMs of cycling a day - Not sure), it gave me great pleasure to write something like that.
But unfortunately, yet again, it took a new meaning and turned into a Sympathy Special.
Gimme a break! Can't a man brag a little?

Other such incidents:
Q)You get a lot of forwards I guess? your phone doesn't stop ringing...
A)Oh you want me to send you some?

Q)My-ex girlfriend is so fat..
A)Are you saying you want a thin gf?
(No I said I want a big blue whale for a girlfriend...an obese Blue whale)

I was curious to see how people regarded the group messages, as forwardable or not, so I ask...
Q)Do you forward my group messages to other people?
A)(Most common answer) do you want me to forward them?
(JUST DUCKIN TELL ME WHETHER YOU DUCKIN DO IT OR NOT??)

Q)(Quip) Writing the movie names in all uppercase is a grammatical error :P
A)(Rubs) Oh you won't gimme the movies?
(WHAAAAAAAAT?)

Q)My Ex-gf is so fat..(another one)
A)Are you saying you are Mr.Hunk?
(Will you let the God forsaken man crack his God forsaken joke?)

Q)I feel like cycling to college everyday, its a good exer...
A)Are you saying you can't afford for the gas?
(No..if I was saying that - then you would have heard it as...well...I CAN'T AFFORD THE GAS!)

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Addition ;)
Q)Oh good I am not in the picture(because I don't like pictures)
A) Awww don't be so sad...

:O :O :O???

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Harmless but still I-am-so-frustrated-I-wanna-jump-off-the roof sort of circumstances!


I am hoping you have got the point!
When I am saying I am sitting...it means I am sitting! Unless ofcourse, I said standing and in which case you might have guessed, I will be standing(Beginning to get the drift? Good! Stick with me).
I will not be trying to say anything other than what those words suggest in the normal-people's standard english dictionary and what normal peoples grammar/literature etc,. would suggest!

The accuracy is regretted!