Thursday 24 July 2008

See you next time, same time, same dream

A million pictures of yours so bright,
imprinted by love, the whitest white,
A million dreams, so golden gold,
How in the world shall I withhold?

So many songs I wrote for you.
So many things, I wanted to say and do,
so many walls punched with my fist,
so many hopes all shattered to dust.

I have stopped bleeding, or so I think,
I close my eyes, for I fear I'll sink,
If I can't see the wound, it does not vanish,
just hiding the surface with two coats of varnish!

You are so cold to me, Princess of ice,
Your sharp words, sting me blind.
I feel like pond scum, like I caused you pain,
Your actions have stung me too, over again.

I thought I moved on, now life is smooth
I told them all , "Things looking good"
A fine result, a job for the namesake,
all the dry skin, falling flake by flake.

I've convinced myself, I've forgotten you,
For God's sake now, this is through,
and then you come again, in my dreams
one fine day, with all those cheers.

You speak to me like you never will,
you look at me like you never will,
you caress me, like you never will,
Yes I am in love, I love you still.

Oh we are together what a wonderful day!!
I never thought these words I'll say,
I am the happiest man, until I wake,
Such happiness will never come again.

I realise now, it was just another dream
Why god why? These games are mean!
I thought this was it, after all I had been,
To fool me like this, I'd call you a fiend.

Life goes on, No I don't bleed,
I don't look at the wound,I will succeed,
I can hide what I feel as you have seen,
The legend shall keep quite,
...........................until the next dream :)

Wednesday 23 July 2008

My Story 2050

No its not a spoof of Love Story 2050 and no, its not completely my story either. Its just one of those most appropriate and most certain assumptions that all(or most) of you will agree on. I read this message about 2050 which was quite funny and decided to come up with a set of those with my own perspective.

* NIE (Year 2050 - remember this part):
Students are now asked to sign a bond before being admitted for a course. The bond says

" I promise to follow all rules and regulations of our college. If not all, at least the one that says I must wear the uniform all the time as in - when I attend college, during placements, go to sleep, do the potty, go to office for work (After finishing my studies in NIE), on my death bed as well as six feet under

Signed so&so "

* Hindustan Times quotes the Registrar of VTU, this Wednesday: " From this year onwards there will be very strict corrections..."

Times of India headlines the following morning: Over 1500 Engineering Students Commit Suicide For Mysterious Reasons

* Salmaan Rushdie broke up with 20 year old girlfriend from Hawaii after 5 year relationship.

* Front Page News: " Team India WINS...no seriously!!"

* A sign found everywhere in NIE building:

- " NIE will be a globally acknowledged institution...blah blah blah"

* Arunbati Coy wins Booker price for the best Ebook of the year.

* Hrithik Roshan recieves award for his performance in "Koi hil gaya" a poor remake of yet another Hollywood movie, by...who else?...his father Rakesh Roshan. (Original scripts still have to be contented with a 'critical acclaim' tag.)


* Teachers in NIE still give below 15 average on all internal assessments irrespective of the subject or performance. Teachers in SJCE are considering ways to accommodate above 25 for the same.

* Now Two Indian players allowed per side in IPL according to new regulations announced yesterday.

* Shah Rukh still thinks he is better than Amitabh Bacchan.

* Exam Fees to V.T.U Exams reduced by 15 Rupees. Revaluation Fees doubled to Rs 7000/-

* Hindi movie "Do ankhein bara hazaar chummi" enters the guinness book of world records for the " Most kisses in a movie " with a little over twice the number of kisses in all the Hollywood movies put together.

* Coming back to VTU , on popular request...
V.T.U overtakes the Transport office from Philiphines and Bihari Government to lead in the all time " Most Corrupt organizations in the world ".
The Finance officer gives a speech on this momentous occasion:

" As you can see, on the latest rankings V.T.U has jumped two places from 3 to 1 to lead the list of Most Corrupt organizations in the world. But we say this is grossly unfair for us and a huge miscalculation on their part. According to our estimates and self assessment we are only the second most Corrupt organization in the world..we will apply for challenge reval"

* Freshers in degree colleges now beginning to look like they are straight out of L.K.G and they are pretty hard to differentiate between their outgoing seniors.

* Freshers all over still act like Brad Pitt/John Abraham and Jessica Alba/Mallika Sherawat. They still loose their fizz within the first week.

*Akshay Bacchan son of Abhishek Bacchan ready to enter the industry.

* Verdict on the Bofors case , 1993 Bombay Blast case and the Cauvery water dispute Case expected next week.

* Sensex Crashes 200 points (Yawn)

* Thomas Anderson retires after playing his first IPL match for Guwahati Stallions. Starts a chain of 7 star hotels in select countries.

* Shah Rukh Khan and Darsheel have a brawl in a local bar after an argument on who is the better actor in the industry.

* All India Bandh tomorrow to protest against the outsourcing of jobs to Mozambique.

* I have everything in life, except for a few things.

* India Super Power of the world! :)

Saturday 12 July 2008

Exams Galore!

Labs? I already told you about it right?

USP -
Ahh well, the poor mans marks machine they call it. (Poor man - Poor student , whats the AHEM*** difference? ). Well that hoits cause it aint a marks riot for me either ways, though I agree it went better than the worst.

SE -
The most criminal, most worthless subject the jackasses from V.T.U could think of. And the paper? yeah, that gets the tag of - most criminal paper a jackass from V.T.U could think of. Getting the drift? ok, it gets worse...wear your seatbelts.


CG -
I skip a bit of this and that, in the end and then the axiom from Murphy's laws strike. I have studied for 4 questions (80% ) it turns out and 60% of that did not look any better than scrambled eggs for me.


CN-
Some people left the exam hall 10 minutes after the commencement of the exam ( Wise decision as it turned out) ...... I think I will stop at that!


SSM-
Some relief...but not good enough. Simulation my tail!


PPL-
I think that stands for Passionate Programming Language? Well whatever it stood for...there was no passion involved in the way I wrote it. But another breather I must say.

***
By now, I hear a lot of chatter about Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na (apparently a movie I could not watch and haven't watched till this day and chances are will not watch unless...) and Hancock and stuff like that when I am trying to run home for my next exam which is barely a few hours away. Hey come on, this was better than FAFL last sem when I had to come in the evening and write one in the morning.
***



AMP-
Another criminal subject in my books. A subject that I would never make use of in my entire life. A subject I never understood. A subject I swore I didn't want to fail even if it meant that I would have failed every other subject in that sem. But no, it had to happen...I had to go through it again.

Ok Almighty , Have it your way! Ill be there.

As luck would have it, in that pathetic little exam hall of ours , where all of us are losers in our own ways, we had an invigilator whose subject had been AMP , who didn't seem to mind the fact that almost all of us wanted to peep into somebody else's book (except for those who were losers in peeping as well) and also that I was the most learned among our little assembly of the unlearned.

The paper is a major whack job! It had "Better quit while you are behind" written all over it! The guy next to me, who rechristened himself after a rowdy from a big rowdy movie, has had enough foresight to prepare chits bearing answers to every single question asked in the history of the subject (Jan 2005 - Dec 2007). Among all that, all we can use is a chit bearing an answer to a 5 marks question usually asked for 12 marks. Well, what options have we got? we make most of that as the invigilator amuses himself and other smirking fans with one liners aimed at the really hopeless in the hall.

We conduct our own little GD (Group Discussion) in the hall - team effort they call it. Someone contributed 2 marks and some other guy brought home 5 - and so on. In the end, we compiled an answer sheet that seemed like it held some 45 marks, all packed tight and neat. The most pathetic part was that none of us had any idea about what we had just written, even though a huge part of it was correct.

After checking, rechecking and rerechecking those answers that I knew well I finally decide to make a move out of the hall, owing to repeated begging from the invigilator to do so and much to his relief.

I walk to feel the air that suddenly felt fresh and hordes of messages asking about our next stop at betta that night on account of freedom...Im done being screwed, screw the exams. Cheers!

How to screw an exam in 10 days

well well well...here we are again. Did I tell you how to screw an exam in 10 days? how rude of me! Knowledge must be shared...

Lemme start from the beginning!
First you build a foundation for everything in the future, as you might have guessed already, there is a lot of foresight involved. Then you end up having the worst luck around combined with bad memory and bit of laziness ( For taste). Then with this crazy concoction you manage to screwup , every now and then, in your lab exams -as a starter (Works up an appetite for failure ). After successfully failing , you must ensure you develop a phobia for lab exams. You see lab exams set the tone for the theory exams - as my Biology teacher ( G Krishna ) used to say "If ya roots are strong mate, the rest of ya is solid " right-O!

You spend a good part of your course building this phobia, finally in 6th sem, you are ready capitalise on all this hard work. What you do is, your butt is so scared stiff that you spend all your free time preparing only for the labs and nothing but the labs. Gooood! Thats my boy! Are we done? Oh I cant wait to see it...right - Next Ten days you can spend wondering how you managed not to prepare for theory exams even though you had over a month. You ask yourself - I didn't spend my time on the net, I have no games installed, I am not messaging away , I am not thinking about anything other than the exams, Then where the **** did all that time GO??????

Past is History, rest is mystery
(I caught that somewhere today )...How true!!!

Monday 7 July 2008

Stroke Victims


Dear All

Please have a look....This 5 min may save a life and lots of tears.....
You could save a life



STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters... S.T.R .
My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance)

They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.)
She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.
Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this...

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:



A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster.
The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions :

S * Ask the individual to SMILE ..
T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg 'It is sunny out today').
R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

NOTE : Another 'sign' of a stroke is
1. Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue.
2. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke.

Wednesday 2 July 2008

Oops!

5 Theory exams already done...one after the other and I have got that "OMG! What have I done???" feeling again. A mass murderer would feel less guilty , thats for sure.


Without being able to withstand the terror of facing the AMP exam again, I finally give in to the urge of coming online during normal hours to surf and blog. I wonder how I spent the last few weeks coming online online only between 2-8 (If and when I was awake) to do nothing but set download and check mail.Not a single soul online and it wasn't helping much for a guy who used to literally live inside the internet barely few months ago. I finally think I have got things going but it wasn't meant to be.Not my day...decade rather.


It is amazing how you watch more TV when you are trying to keep away from the net ( Only because I had exceeded my net usage - read my last post) , did you know the term 'reality TV' is really being carried away these days? What the hell was I missing I thought, turns out its just another word for GAME SHOWS!I pity the Judges, at least I can change the channel. Nothing much has changed on TV, Ekta Kapoor is still trying to make money off every sad story on earth, including the Arushi Murder case, which I think is disgusting. Even pig poop is less disgusting. The rest of the soaps aint much improved either, each episode contains 2 dialogues , 1 divorce, 3 murders and 400 camera zoom ins from different angles.I don't know what was worse...not having internet or having to watch these shows because Mum wont give it a rest and the door wont stay shut. Hey wait a minute...I had to go through them both together. Wait it gets worse I GOT EXAMS IF YOU FORGOT!


It is also amazing how I have found my long lost sleep especially when I really need to stay more awake these days. Fortunately, the 6th sem tradition of taking ill before an important test/exam is no more. People are already talking about "How you gonna spend your hols? " kinda stuff. Their party ends the day after tomorrow Afternoon. I am gonna hold fort for a few hours more, though I dont see for what great purpose, as my so called self confidence takes a sound battering.

The only thing good these days seems to be Suresh Raina's form and Pluto's left ear(Another day another post). Coming to that 300 MB excess I spoke about the last time I wrote...there was a small mistake in that line...I actually had an excess of 490 MB!! Right, the countdown begins to the day the bill arrives. Pray for my exams, not my life though!