The Avengers - Go watch!

*Not a review*

I had to watch this movie two nights in a row. The first time in a good multiplex - Cinepolis and the second time in a bad "multiplex" - DRC. That's when I realized how badly DRC sucks. The 3d was so good in the first theatre. The first 3d movie I had watched was Chota Chetan in a theatre called Woodlands and the 3D effects for it back in the 90s was way better than watching it at DRC, Mysore.

I have no idea why I agreed to be dragged to it for the second night in a row, I was either intoxicated or I had liked the movie the first time or I liked the company - or all three!

Anyway, the movie is awesome. I only went to watch because I am a big fan of Iron man, Robert Downey Jr and The Hulk. I guess a lot of people are, which is why the directors have focused on their roles and they bloody well stole the show (and I say that with a British accent, so it must be true).

Remember Loki from Thor (2011)? Well he is the villain here and he wants to take over earth with the help of an army made of creatures from other dimensions. He is gonna do this by opening a portal to those other dimensions with the help of the Tesseract from Asgard.


I was not very sure of how much I would really enjoy "The Avengers" franchise, but now I'm convinced. 


Mark Ruffalo becomes the third person(after Eric Bana and Edward Norton) to play The incredible hulk and a very convincing at that. Very convincing as Bruce Banner, very convincing as The hulk (well, lets leave that to the graphics shall we?). Very convincing over all.

Some dialogues (no spoilers):

Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Bruce Banner: Thanks.


----
 
Thor: You will not talk about Loki like that, he is an Asgardian and he's my brother
Natasha Romanoff: He killed 80 people in 2 days
Thor: He's adopted

 ----


Tony Stark: No offence, but I don't play well with others.
Steve Rogers: Big man, in a suit of armour... take that away, what are you?
Tony Stark: Uh... genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist... 






----



*Okay FINE! This was a review - sorta*

Five most beautiful women

Okay I was asked to make a list of the most 'Lovely' women in the world by my friend "Crazy Lab lady". I took out the lovely and made it - The most beautiful. You are gonna see why you don't question a poet's taste.

Based on not just skin deep beauty, but also on soul, charisma, character and the way they carry themselves, my list of the most beautiful women is as follows -

5. Vaijayanthi Mala

Yesteryears actress. Timeless.

4. Catherine Zeta Jones

Couldn't find big size, good quality pics of this damsel from Wales. All the wallpapers I found had a more sexual appeal side than the beautiful woman angle to them. So I just put these two together. If your imagination can't convince you, go watch some of her movies - The mask of Zorro, Entraptment, The Terminal etc,.

 3. Sushmita Sen

Former miss Universe. Lovely soul. A voice to die for and the eyes to kill for.

2. Nafisa Ali

Picture. Watch. Rub your eyes. Then watch again. This lady has added two units of "stunning" for every unit of "age" she has aged.

1. Grace Kelly

Oh Grace. I will not say anything about her. Click on the picture, watch the bigger picture. Look into those eyes and the lips, spend a few days, finding a flaw on her, then tell me you didn't fall in love.

My friend also has made a list. But, she doesn't believe in making a list of beautiful women, so I guess we will have to settle for "5 Lovely women" as she calls this list. These are not necessarily in the order of loveliness as she has not specified that yet.

1. Audrey Hepburn

2. Nandita Das

3. Jackie Kennedy

4. Princess Diana "Lady Di"

5. Sushmita Sen

Wonder of wonders. Guess who made it to both our lists? Btw, Salma Hayek missed both our lists by a whisker. We are trying to find that whisker.

Bonus!

Do you have a list? Let us know in the comments!

Mission Impossible: Fail scene

They (producers of the movie)  claim they recreated all the sets for Indian sets in the USA itself because it wouldn't be easy to shoot in India. The first scene which starts at the entrance of a hotel in Mumbai is not to tough to believe that it is just a set but then, during the chase for the server, when Jeremy Renner runs around looking for the power switch, this is what we see:

Kannada signs in Mumbai server room? Somebody get a shot of Valium for Raj Thackeray please.

Unless they are trying to say that the power switch for a server room in Mumbai was located somewhere in Karnataka and Jeremy Renner ran all the way in 3 mins, I'm guessing this is a fail from the huge production house known for its precision ;)

An orchid blooms

To remain unfulfilled are all poets' dreams,
to mesmerize they flow, his words in teary streams,
dismissed by reality to a wanton exile,
yet, he holds his audience in rhythmic beguile.


I was once a poet, who longed to see a flower,
an exotic orchid that bloomed at the nightly hour,
when I did find her, she asked me to go away,
"I shall never bloom, not for you in anyway."


I have returned to my shed with a limp and some wear and tear,
The woods have been unforgiving, no mercy, no spare,
traveled the Western Ghats and the never ending plains,
Because the voice I heard was worth the pain.


And now the orchid finally blooms when I'm asleep,
Sends her fragrance over raging rivers and rocky steeps,
Like I always had felt, she says she now feels,
Alas, I'm far too deep in my sleep.

Far too deep in my sleep

Strange but true

Great lines:

1) All dabba SMS forwards have two lines in the body, the first being an unwanted line, followed by a completely nonsensical second line.

2) And then they all eat a banana!

Strange but true. Good night. Sweet dreams.

 You know that feeling when you are having a soul to soul conversation on the SMS and now you are waiting for a very important reply to a very important question and your friend seems to be taking forever, so you decide to go to the kitchen and have a very quick glass of water and when you are doing that - "Tink" the ringtone for the text sounds and you run and dive onto the bed catch hold of the cell and scramble to read the answer and then you see that its one of those "Touching/Great/Lovely" lines in a forward from someone who is in your address book but you can't really remember who it is?

 Those kind of forwards make Gerard Butler very angry. That's when he makes some animal love to his wife and heads for war with the sender.

"This is for that Forwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard"

Yes, I'm gonna sample only four of those forwards here, particularly, the three most wonderful Shakespearean quotes that I have received, feel free to mention the ones you have received.

Here goes -


Great lines said by Shakespeare:
 Don't trusted the believed one,
And don't believed the trusted one.


I am totally trusted that Shakespeare will believed this and quoted like this wonly.

________________________


Shakespeare says:
Its not necessary to share everything between true friends.
But it is necessary that what you share must be true.



Turn to Shaky when you are wondering if its okay to lie to your friends.

________________________


I always "happy"
You know why? Because I dont expected anything from anyone!!
Expectations always hurt.
--
Sheiksphere


Shakespeare will roll over in his grave three times if he hears about this,

1) Because, they decided to change his name to - Sheiksphere. Probably because, when they tossed a rich sheik out of a human canon straight into the Stratosphere, during the grand opening ceremony of the world's tallest building in 2011, they found his trajectory to be poetic and just as dramatic as Shakespeare's legendary marvels..

2) Because, they think he used double quotes on the first lines, implying he was actually being sarcastic when he said - I always "happy"

3) "Oh no my grammar teacher keeel me"

________________________

Get out of office and get a girlfriend.
--
Narayan Murthy (Infosys founder.)


This is particularly disturbing, because his mail to the whole Infosys foundation was over 300 words long and went pretty viral. The mail was about staying late at work and how its an unhealthy practice. Somewhere in between he mentions this and the SMS crackpots jumped onto it and turned it into a forward.



"OMG, until now, the thought had never crossed my mind, but if the Infosys founder has said it, maybe I MUST get a girlfriend? Murthy Maama...lets hit the road."



________________________

 And now, just for the kicks, my contribution to the SMS world. Something I had sent out years ago on the now inactive SMS group - 


SMS is a funny thing bro, because you can type any shit you want and attribute the quote to anyone.
--
Mahatma Gandhi.

People!

Have you watched that movie? "The Truman Show" ? Jimmy Carrey. The first time I watched it and also The Matrix, it had this uncanny resemblance to this little piece of imagination I used to have that nothing around me was real. Which is why I kind of digested both movies on the first go.

As a kid, I don't remember why I felt like that, but that feeling is back and this time I know exactly why. People! Weird weird people that I have had to put up with recently. Its like the external universal force has hand picked a bunch of exotic dumb asses just to pick my nerve.

If its the external force, why would it be? Is it some sort of freak show enjoyed in heaven? Is there a binge party going on up there? Or is there a more noble cause? Like an anger management class?

All my life, all I had to do to have my first coffee of the day was - Get up and brush!

Now that I moved to work, I have to get up, bathe, get ready, go to work, take bullshit from a lot of people in between, reply , steal some time to go to the cafe and just to make sure I don't ruin the already dying appetite I hold myself off till I'm done with my breakfast before I dive head first into a big big tumbler full of coffee.

In between all this, there are these people that keep showing up with a BIG smile on their face with a question or statement that is sure to whipe off the one on mine.

"Hey why are you so thin man? Eat!"
"Who are you kidding? You are skinnier and lighter than me."
"Yeah, but you are tall."
"Exactly, I'm good for my height."
"Lets have a vote?"
"Oh no, not the vote."


"Hey, did you have your breakfast?"
"I'm standing with you on the breakfast counter! You just asked me what I ordered."
"Ummm..so you didn't have yet?"



"What? You ride to Mysore EVERY WEEK on the bike?? Why??"
"You asked me same question, last Friday. and I answered by saying 'You asked me same question last week and I answered in detail remember?' and since you didn't I had to explain again, remember? "
"But why? Why do you ride?"



I go through repetitive conversations like that, every single morning. But I'm kinda impressed at myself as not once have I felt like getting myself a Smith & Wesson to take down these Jabronis. Okay, I confess. I felt like that once when I was just about to take my much, much delayed first sip off that big tumblr of coffee after like a twelve hour drought when this guy slapped my on my back all of a sudden and shouted
"Oh My God! What is this man?"


I swear I wanted to shoot Janice straight to the moon.


So if its an anger management class, here is proof that its worked, now let me go?


--

People, I tell you, the more I see them, the more I love my dog.


There are more people like this.


The landlord:
This guys is so fuckin weird that I call him Feirdo. He shows up on the first date of every month and that's not the weird part. He shows up and hides behind a pillar in our parking lot. And it ain't really hiding. A 5 year old would catch him. The first time I saw him I walked up to him and asked what he was doing there. He just stood there, wide eyed, like in a trance, not even acknowledging my presence. Then I just called out my rommate from the parking lot since he had all our rent money and immediately this guy broke out of his "Trance" and said

"Oh no no. He gave me the rent."
"Ok come inside."

Before you know it, he is back behind the pillar in trance mode. Reminded me of these pythons that go into a trance while laying eggs.


The neighbours and their retarded kid:
Now I dunno if this kid is more retarded or his parents. He honks the car horn endlessly runs amok on my terrace banging a stone on the roof or throws stuff at my dog or comes running into that house to bang on the fish tank - now most of this I can understand in a 1 year old but not in a two year old, and his parents just stand and watch, with their mouth so open that I can park my bike in it.

The kid once went running amok and the parents having absolutely no regard for his safety had no idea that he had fallen into a water tank just a few feet away. Thankfully the kid was saved by some alert passer by.

Did they become more careful about their kid? No. They just picked up a fight with the construction workers next day for not watching their kids fall into the tank.

On another occassion, the kid had just wandered away 4 kilometers close to a relatives house. His parents realised he was missing 6 hours later.


People crossing the road:
Oh I have a special place for some people on my list of people to kill- when I go on my spree, they are underlined in red ink. These are the people who cross the road.

Why? Why people do you wait for my signal to turn green before you jump onto the road?

Why? Why do you want to cross the road when I'm speeding at 80? Will it kill you to wait 2 seconds till I pass?


Why? Why do you have this dumbass notion that if you don't turn around and look at me coming at you, it means that I don't really exist. That I wont toast your ass with one mistake.



Arrogant higher ups:
These are the guys who find out that hard way that I cannot be their pet bitch.

Hard way: Let us just say they push me and I drop kick them.

Sorry that's how it always goes, but sadly, my appraisal is always in their hands, so it always comes back to bite me. And also the fact that everybody else comes upto you and tells you:-
1) How you made a mistake
2) How you should lie down and let them all walk all over you
3) How we are not allowed any self respect
4) How I should probably chop of my ass and hand it to the "High and mighty" on a silver platter.

Right. I'm sorry world, I rather be wrong and strong than be meek and faceless (in some case also baseless).

I hear people saying things like "Oh I'm so friendly with my manager" and stuff like that and all of a sudden when they hear about one of the incidents that happened to me, they go "It happened to me toooo!!". Come on people...either your job/manager sucks or they don't. Make up your mind.



Sabotage specialists:

The there are people who want to mess with my bike. It started with a small tear on the leather seat. This was done in the parking lot of my company.

Then all of a sudden one night, it was a big tear. This was when it was parked at my house in Blore.

Everyday when it was parked at my house at night, someone would come and twist the rear view mirrors. Some idea of a hilarious joke I guess. I was pretty harmless, so I let it pass.

One fine morning I saw that they had broken one of my indicators.

Now, I just moved in here. Have no grudge with anyone in the building, heck I don't even know anyone. Plus, I park my bike in this tough-to-park place so that it makes more space for other vehicles, yet the bike is picked out for constant sabotage.

There was this one night where I was awake till 4AM. My roommate woke up at 5 AM. In this window of 1 hour, someone had broken another indicator on the bike.


I have decided to buy a baseball bat.

--


There are a lot more cases and currently too much on my mind to really recall and write more.

Currently for some reason my back is completely broken. Or it seems to be a relapsed ache from a couple of weeks ago. So I'm sitting on my chair since morning refusing to budge, while my dad sits in a hall densely filled with cigarette smoke, not running out of evidences to prove that I am a bad son. So to avoid both my dad and the smoke, I'm following the cricket scores on line. So it looks like even my dad is in on this whole plot - not just 'people'


Tell me all this doesn't suck and I might try to vaporise you with my super-secret laser vision.


--

Everybody calls me a "People person". Screw that, from today onwards, I'm hanging a board around my neck that says "I hate people." and grow really long nails.

5 Things I learnt from the IT industry

Its been two years since I started working in the IT industry. I can't really say that I became a better engineer and not feel guilty about saying it, but I can say that there are a few nitty-gritty details I picked up during this long walk on a stony path with naked feet.



Here, I list a select five of them, so that you can be better armed and armoured for your life in the IT world in case you didn't know these already. There are a few more things I learnt, but more than 5 facts would make it a really long post.





Hope you like it! Here goes -


#1 There are no humans, there are resources

It took me a while to get my head around this word 'resource'. Two managers/team leads in discussion often sound like T-1000s from 2100, who have come back in time to rule over earth and are now playing 'Captain Davy Jones' with us.

"I will give you my resource for one day, but you should give me two of your resources next week"

"Why ask for two? Take four. My resources are your resources. Use them."

Its really really bad to hear this especially when I am one of the resources they are talking about it - And they are gonna 'USE ME'

#2 No issues

This is the first in the standard book of IT replies. "No issues". Its so common, that you won't even realise when someone has actually uttered this phrase. In fact, if you are an IT person, who finds this irritating and try to voice your concern about the irritatingly excessive use of it, I assure you, your colleagues will have 'No issues' with it.

I have often noticed, that if you tell your manager a huge story about how your work is going, they just can't wait for you to get to the end of your story so that they can simply dismiss you by saying

"Oh is it? No issues."


Chances are, they haven't paid attention to you at all. The secret lies in the tone of your voice. If it seems like you are giving them a status report of your task, there is a good chance of your manager replying with "No issues"

However, if the tone of your voice suggests that you are making an excuse to not complete the task, he will pay more attention.

Just try this. Go to your manager and start speaking in the status report tone, which often sounds like you are hurrying through it, with an overwhelmingly positive attitude, with a sense of accomplishment, twinkling eyes, ear to ear smile as you move towards the end the speech with the tone in which you seem to seeking his blessing and say

"...and so, going by the statistics, tonight I want to bang your wife like a barbarian after a 7 year isolation"


I swear, there is a probability= 0.99 that your manager says

"Oh is it? No issues!"




#3 "The question"

Every IT guy dreads the day, he is asked...The question

This is the question that has no correct answer. The question is...

"Are you busy?"

There are only two ways to answer this question:
                    - Yes or No. Wait, you can stay silent and get fired. Anyway, I made a flowchart to better explain the outcomes for this question.

I have heard people talking:

Girl: Hey! Sup? Why the long face?

Boy: The manager...he...asked me....The Questionnnn!!!

*Everybody who over heard this gasps loudly*

Boy: Yeah..


Girl: Oh no..not...THE QUESTION??


Boy: :(


Girl: Look at the bright side..


Boy: What bright side!!!


Girl: You have one less day to live.


Boy (Now smiling): Oh yeah :)




#4 Convex mirror age decoder


This is a very important warning going out to all you guys who either in or about to be in the IT industry. Avoid entering discussions about the age of the person you are talking to. No matter how many people you have seen in your day, you will get an IT persons age wrong.

"A Techie's face is younger than it seems"



 I have prepared a formula for deducting a persons age, which also requires an experienced hand to use it.


Suppose, x is the age of the person;

If, x seems to be aprox 40 or above, take your best guess, say Y and deduct it by 12 years.

If, x seems to be approx 55 or above, take your best guess, Y and deduct it by 23 years.


I hadn't derived this formula yet when the below discussion happened with a senior colleague over a cuppa.

Angry Young Man (AYM): So you are a fresher is it? How many years experience do you have?

Iceman: Just 3 months. Im coming straight off training in fact, so even that can't be counted. What about you?

AYM: What do you think?

Iceman: I don't know you should tell me.


AYM: How old do I look?

Iceman (Oh noo!! Not the age!): Come on. I don't want to talk about our age.

AYM: Oh relax. Im a cool guy. Im your friend. Im curious to know your answer, tell me.

Now I wondered: Okay, so he looks at least 55. But he might have aged more because of work pressure and stuff, so he should be actually 45, but let me say 40 to be on the safer side and make him happy.

Iceman(Confidently): You look only 40. Are you 40?


AYM: What??? I look 40????


Iceman: Ummmm....Older?


AYM: I'm 32. Are you done with your coffee? Lets go back to our desk.

A 35 yr old specimen of IT professional

#5 Murderous rage

Ok. If there is one thing I never understood, was the hype that surrounded Kolaveri Di. But the thing that actually generated some murderous rage in my usually so 'Don't give a rat's ass' composure was when EVERY SINGLE GUY who had a kid decided to record his son or daughter singing the damned song.

Everyone in the team were made to watch the video, which they did, smiling ear to ear, say "Your kid is sooooo cuteee!!!" , then give the phone back to them and whisper to us while walking back to his desk "Don't watch it, that kid is fuckin retarded."


The trouble was every time one of these over-obsessed dad's brought one of these recordings to work, they played the song over and over and over again all day and though I always politely refused to watch the video, I had to go through the audio.


Heard they now have an assembly at Infosys campus at 9 AM everyday where all of the work force stand in out in attention as Kolaveri Di is played out on speakers. Can anyone confirm that please?


Apparently this song is now the official Anthem of all the men in the IT Industry because they have all been dated and then coldly dumped by some chick-u. I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in a sea of Devdases and Chandramukhis. Does anyone have a gun?

Snowflake

Once, at the edge of a snowy cliff,
I reminisced about our eternal kiss,
deep inside that lovers nest,
With my hand in your hair and your head on my chest

And then about that passionate hug,
glowing skin on a scarlet Cashmere rug,
Eons its been but how could I forget,
when we went through something forbidden yet perfect?

The heaven's approval was silently sent,
As the news of our love went,
over distant hills, through flowing sands,
when a solitary snowflake landed on the palm of my hand

Sleepless nights

What comes of these countless nights,
Spent lavishly swimming in the world of my dreams,
to come out of it and think of the same woman outright,
for a thousand mornings or a million it seems?

I remember her eyes, twinkling brown,
chime of her jewellery, laughter resonate in my heart,
the end of which seems to echo on and on,
because I am unwilling to hear the end of it.

If just one soul would simply relate,
when I opined about what I felt,
as I couldn't keep still like a mute inanimate,
but nobody really felt the way I felt.

Oh so many sleepless nights its caused,
Love. Tis the sweetest pain,
Yet it causes hurt in moments past,
when you win your love and then lose her again.

Pratichee Bachalet

Okay so here is a summary of my last friday night,

1) I invented a girlfriend

2) I teased someone I had just met for "exploring" her lesbian side

3) Silently, watched my generous host for the evening get in trouble for all the noise, on our behalf

4) Someone sarcastically called me cute only a few million times, because I wore that shirt again

5) Proved how terrible I am with dumb charades, because they wouldn't take my word for it


6) I called another person a weak frail monkey

7) Someone reminded my how I was their monkey. Sorry I don't have the blog link to show you what that means.

8) I think the right hand of Jesus was sitting on my left shoulder, because I could turn plain water into Tequila

9) Pratichee Bachalet has all the necessary sounds to pronounce "Bachelorette party"

10) Oh Prachi, how can anyone hate you?

Tumhari meri baatein..hamesha yu hin..

Viva la internet

The internet is not just a technology. It is not just a network. It's an organism. It has a soul and an Untameable wild spirit. You can’t stop it, control it or censor it. The internet belongs to everyone and it belongs to no one. The internet knows everything. It knows where you been, what or who you been doing. What you have been watching and when you have been naughty.

It has the largest repository of open and free knowledge. You are nearly ten times smarter and thirty times more knowledgeable than your parents because of the internet.

To cast a filter over the internet is like digging your own grave. Think about it. Embrace!

A lot in common?

When I found the pic on the left, I knew it was similar to something I had grown up reading and just couldn't wait till I put em side by side

Tour of Oz

You can skip this post if:
1) You are not a cricket fan
2) You don't like test cricket
3) You like to read only extremely small posts


There is something I love about winter. I dunno what it is. I just feel good in winter. Of course there is the
occasional cough n cold, but my spirits are definitely high. Also, the last three India's tours of Australia have started in Winter.

The first India's tour of Australia I actually remember watching was the 2003-04 tour. That was one Legendary tour, especially if you are big test fan. Ahhh Nostalgia. I remember waking up early to watch. Bunking college. Sometimes, rushing to the bakery next to college to catch the action. Then sit in the park for hours analysing the match with fellow cricket freaks.

Ganguly started with an awesome century. Laxman, Sehwag, Sachin came in with big knocks. But the highlight of it all was Dravid's double century. Taking on the giants and leading India to its first test victory down under in over 22 years.

Ever since, whenever Ind toured Aus, I have woken up early and followed the game.

I remember being very tense earlier this year when India was set to play Pakistan in the World cup. I kept shouting at everyone in office. I had the same feeling a couple of days before the boxing day test.

All my hopes of watching India win a tour in Australia are pinned on the current tour. Not because its the best Indian team to go there. But because its the worst Australian team to be fielded in quite a while. In fact, their current team is nothing in comparison with the current Indian Team. All said and done, the Indian team itself is highly in experienced. Out of the playing 11, Dravid, Sachin, Sehwag, Zaheer and Laxman can be said to have experience. That's just 45% of the team. IMHO it should be 7/8 members of the team with 4-3 fresh blood at most.


The first test culminated a few minutes ago as I write this and India who looked on top earlier on, have been crushed by an awesome performance from the ozzies. Full credit to the Australians. They deserve the win. But it got me thinking, how can a side with a handful of seniors beat a side with a couple more of them?

The answer lies in the pitch that was prepared. It was an even pitch. A light green top with something in it for the bowlers but a lot in it for the batsmen as well. The bounce ensured it came onto the bat, but the grass gave some opportunity to the seamers.

Umesh Yadav was a good find. I'm sure Pattinson was the same for them. Both have good futures for their respective teams if groomed well. Something tells me Mallya has his eyes on Pattinson.


Yet all the batsmen crumbled and only the best of the best managed any knocks: Dravid, Sachin, Ricky, Hussey. The Indian batsmen have been spoon fed with batting pitches in India. They put up a great show in India and look like clowns on alien soil.


This is a wake up call for curators in India to make some green tops in the future. Of course, there is always the theory that a pitch must be made in favour of the home side. But with that mentality we will go back to being bad tourists as we were famously known for in the 70s and the 80s. At least at the end of a home series or when we are in a commanding position in the series, green tops should be made so that the batsmen are groomed for even pitches.


In a nutshell:
I still think the current team has what it takes to win this series. Probably 2-1. All they gotta do is play it session by session, patiently.


This fan has no nails left to bite! WE HAVE TO WIN THIS. Damn I'm so tense.

Run boy run..

This a true (silly, pointless, facepalm) story:


Once upon a time, me and a couple of friends had to get back home from somwhere. The "home" was a kilometer away and there was only one bike, a Royal Enfield Bullet. The person who had dropped and gone to his home.

It was decided that my two friends would go back on the bullet while I walked back. Because I liked to. Personal choice.

And so they went. As soon as they started, I had an idea, they were taking the longer route because the roads were wider, I could take the SLIGHTLY shorter gullies. So I ran and ran and ran, with the sound of the bullet engine within ear shot.

It was a about a 7 minute run. Guess who got home first?


Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


Morale of the story: What does that make me?



Come on...its silly, but its cryptic. Im sure you can crack this one!!












It shows I am...

One of these days, I'll get back in shape and show you!

Timeline

I recently got "The timeline" (you have to say that like you would say "The death star" or "The Millennium Falcon").

The moment I realised I could get it before they decided to activate on their own will, I jumped at it and got it. Not that I was eagerly waiting for it, but because its one of the most irksome, 'destroy-your-private-life' kind of feature, especially for people like me, that facebook has released yet.

It's a feature where all your past posts, activites etc etc, can be easily surfed through in a brand new interface. Its basically a quicker archive.

I had to get it quickly because I wanted to know what sort of shit I had posted ages ago and what should definitely not be there for my detractors to see and what could land me in trouble with my company or relatives etc.

And I was surprised. There wasn't a single such thing. The most common feedback I ever got was that I was blunt, rude and the blah. And yet, there weren't a lot of posts I would have cared to delete. Though I did hide about 4 posts from my timeline, plainly because they were outright silly. Or maybe all our posts sound silly 2 years later. As a result of this, two years were blown straight out of the timeline.

I was even more surprised to see the scarcity of my posts. I don't think I found over 20 status messages over so many years. Glad to know that I ain't among the feed flooders.

Facebook has been known to make a mess of good things a little too often. After going through this new feature I must say I have to say its a work of art. Lemme explain why.

1) You are less likely to delete your account now, because it seems more like your memories are attached to it. Trust me, some of your own old posts might make you smile. Besides, I know some of you jobless folks. You have spent half your life on the site and your poor employers even paid you for it.



2) It makes it easy for the advertisers to collect info on you and target user specific ads.

3) Even though it will eventually be activated to everyone, some of you can do so right away. Absolutely genius move this. Why?
Facebook has learnt from its past mistakes. Everytime they made a change, they messed up. People hated it, protested and eventually just learnt to live with it than leave. This time, its voluntary. So even though this is by far the biggest privacy concern, nobody will realise it.
 - One person uses it.
 - Realises that his/her friends don't have it.
 - They brag about it. (And my dear cynics, this is not what I am doing.)
 - Their friends activate it.

And so the water trickles. The sheep jump into the pit on their own and facebook doesn't have to lift a finger.




All said and done:
There is one thing I do like in this new change though. And that is the "Cover". I loved it. I Chose something nice for mine and trust me I didn't break my head too long over it.


Lastly, the timeline made me realise one more thing. It has been the longest standing social network ever. According to my observation, the successful ones last for 3 years. People seem to simply migrate to something else after that. Myspace, Orkut..so on. FB has stuck on for 5 years. Wonder what will be the next big thing. I have high hopes on Diaspora. I had very discreetly mentioned in one of my posts --> "Forget IP addresses the world is running outta good names"

In India, ofcourse, the facebook boom happened around 2009 when suddenly people started flooding the network. I think I had 36 friends here till 2009. Now it stands at a little over 500. That's actually less, when compared to some of my "So nice to know you...hey! Are you on facebook?" kinda friends.

I have been considering closing my account for quite a while. The only reason I haven't is not the love of the site but the fact that all my friends are there and is the best way to stay in touch. However, I do love twitter. Its like an addiction. Sadly 95% of my friends don't seem to know about twitter. Its short and sweet, unlike me, yet.

(Disclaimer: This post doesn't endorse any site. Nor trash it.)

BTW, did you know that, if you delete your account, your photos are still retained. Wonder how on earth they could make money from that? Something tells me, I don't want to know the answer to that question.

Social-life-ka-boom warning system: Once you activate the timeline, you have 7 days before its published, so hurry up if you have skeletons in the closet ;)

Dear Santa

Adopt, don't buy

I just had to share this..

Did I just kill my blog?

Im still wondering when I must or not. My friends say not yet and I agree, but if I were to, do you have any suggestions for the name?

And trust me, this is not the kind of thing people do when they ask for suggestions and you rack your brains to come with an impressive answer and in the end they consider none of it just so that they dont have to credit the name to you. If you idea is good, I will consider it. I was thinking of:
1) Homo Sheepians (Title of the first comic)
2) Asylumos
3) Ding!


--


In other news,

I royally hate the 3g stick I am using to connect to the internet from my room. It belongs to my roommate and boy is it slow.

In order to get consistent access to the net, I have to keep the door open. But if I keep the door open a friendly neighbourhood grasshoper seems to be adamant as hell to get indoors and lo, 75% of my time with a good connection is spent in keeping the insect out of the house.


By time I get one simply project going on my netbook, I think I would be more equipped with the Class Insecta in the linnaeus classification than any other geeky stuff on the planet.

--


Also,

I keep wondering if I totally killed my blog by taking to comics? Because everytime I see something funny, I think of it as something I could write a comic on.


--


Finally,

You know that stage of life? Where you are very confused about the future and...yeah well most of you guys follow me on --> twitter. Well its back!

An alien ate my homework

"I don't even know what that means!"

Right! 


"I would. I want to. But I can't, because my cousins also follow it and I don't want them to know that I do too."

Whaaaaat?


"You know you are awesome. A person should not need some external entity to provide solace to the question of whether anybody likes what you have to say or write on an open expression platform. Besides, you are a cynic. Your beliefs and idealogies are hardly motivated by the opinions of other people, I know this for a fact, so why does it matter?"

So that's a No then?

"I was about to, but just when I typed the first letter a trojan that had infected my computer acted up and the whole system was frozen for all eternity so I couldn't, there was smoke and everything, I was so scared. They had to give me an injection to calm me down. Sorry.."

I am now thinking of taking up drinking Charlie Sheen style. And without water.


"Hey I did..I seriously did, I even took a picture of it on my phone as proof, but someone stole my phone."

I wish I had a gun.



These are some of the replies that have succeeded a typical conversation like this:

Person: Hey checked out your blog. It was awesome!
Iceman: Yeah? Thanks. Do leave comments when you read something you like.
Now, go read the post from the beginning.





While considering the amount of effort you guys are putting into coming up with these elaborate excuses, there are two things that come to my mind

1) I need to seriously stop asking people for comments. After all, my obsession is only with numbers and NOT a good hard ego-massaging..

2) Advice some of you to try writing screenplays for sci-fi movies.
    Cause people accept anything that happens in a sci-fi movie.


And the biggest wake up call is to completely disable comments on my posts (Which is how it was when I initially started writing), before someone comes up with something like this:


- I wanted to, but I write my comments on a sheet of paper first and check for spalling mishtakes and grammatical errers, yes, I always doing because me perfect always, and when i doing this, suddenly suddenly a crow coming and taking the sheet of paper from me and swallowing while sitting on the coconut tree.

When Schumi met Sachin

The first pic is being cross-posted from the Insanity Unlimited!!! Facebook page

And later Sachin's fantastic never-before heard reply:

One to ask an awesome question, other to give a LEGEND-wait-for-it- ARY reply.

One and Four

There are 411 posts in the bin (Published + draft) and there are 114 followers. Now I feel like Michael Schumacher who won his 7th World championship in the same race where Ferrari won their 700th race and he said “Eet eez zust ze reverrrzze.”

And here is a tit-bit: On 7th November, 1996 NASA launched the Mars Global Surveyor. Also Doodle tells me its Madam Curie’s 144th Bday. Her research shall forever radiate through the millions of peoples who were treated for cancer.


All you 114 people are AWESOME. The 4th Comic is out, hope you like it :)