Somewhere in the Himalayas

On a trip to the snowy Himalayas, most normal people would have a cold, utter some words of amazement, some have a snowball fight, while a few have an imagination enough to build a snowman. It must be obvious now, that people around me are a tad better than normal.

Kav(Almost seen in the picture) and Anush(who refused to pose with me) built an Iceman.

Yes girls, I am just as cute as that guy. Totally!

Why do they even play in SL?

I can't remember one match. ONE EFFIN MATCH that they played in Lanka without rains or the fears of it.

Remember the 2002 Champions trophy final?

That place shouldn't be allowed to host cricket matches at all.

Why is it even a country?

The office

A lot of people have been complaining to me that I have become shockingly silent and less energetic. Enough to enquire if I am sick. I hope this post will explain everything and clear all doubts.

At the Cafe :

Halli Gowda: Maga, you know what?

Iceman: What? (Which actually sounds like - Do I have an option not to know?)

Halli Gowda: I have decided something.

Iceman: Hmmm. (Not again?)

Halli Gowda: (Now speaking to everybody at the table, who has become interested) I have decided to become a football fan.

Iceman: Must have been a tough decision.

Halli Gowda: No maga. Nothing like that. I was sitting at home yesterday, when the thought came to my head. What do you say?

Iceman (Rolling my eyes): You “decided” to become a fan? (Looking around to see if anybody finds this weird)

Halli Gowda: Yeah. Football…football fan.

Nobody seemed to find it weird.

Iceman: You do what your heart tells you. Go make us all proud. (Banging my head on a wooden table – in my imagination.)

During a net meeting :

This is the kind of meetings where your desktop can be seen and sometimes (depending on permissions) can be controlled by a person on some other computer machine far away. Then we also call each other up so that we can discuss whatever is going on, on the screen.

Voice at the phone: Open that excel sheet.

The leader opens the excel sheet.

Voice: Right jao (Go right. – Indicating him to  scroll right)

Leader scrolls right on the sheet.

Voice. Aur right jao (Go further right)

Leader scrolls more.

Voice: Aur jao (Go more)
This goes on for about 12-14 times and we are all standing and wondering what he might have written in that sheet so far right after all the empty cells, because in MS Excel, there is no outer limit to how far you can scroll, the sheet just keeps growing. This happened long enough to have a commercial ad in between.

Voice: Aur right jao

*Pause*

Voice: Sorry, I meant left. Go left.

Fail!

Another day another meeting:

Teammate: Hi, meeting eeej about tuh istart. Caam een.

Iceman: ok.

Teammate: You aarr presser no?

Iceman: No, coder. What is the role of a presser? (trying to sound all corporate and technical)

Teammate: No role. But someone told me you are presser.

Iceman: Who told? I am not so experienced to be put into such high level roles. You must be confused with someone else…?

Teammate: That only, no experience no? Presser, said like that manager.

Iceman (Seriously doubting my own knowledge about the industry): Manager told you that I have been assigned this ‘presser’ role?

Teammate: Arrey, you just phinissed your gra-ju-yesan no?

Iceman(Now, banging my head on a marble table – in my imagination):  Oh got it. Yes I am a presser. (Fresher).

The leader: Haha, you must be very absent minded, you phorgot that you were presser?

Iceman: Yeah. I’ll be forgetting more than that from now on.

At the room:

The Headless Horseman: I have decided to quit drinking.

Iceman: What?

The Headless Horseman: I know.

Iceman: When did you start?

The Headless Horseman: The other day I tasted a bit of that Vodka. My uncle thinks I am getting fat.

Iceman: Where do you guys come up with these life changing decisions?

Processes processes:

If there is one thing that people here complain about work around here, it is the numerous processes to be followed than actual work. Even farting requires a permission which has to be obtained by sending a mail to a certain so-and-so and CC to your manager and department head for approval and it doesn’t get approved for about a week by when you have got tons of shitty ideas and plots developed by holding back your fart.

I had to mail a certain Narnia (Of course the name is fucking changed. But it sounds close.), asking for access to a high priority code execution environment. She did not reply and nor did she do her side of the job, which got me into an online fight with her and well I never got access to the environment. Remember, the seemingly nicey-dicey but cut-throat world of corporate is not a place cut-out for people like me. I just had to be happy with cursing Narnia to be stuck to her seat for the rest of her life wherever she sat in any of the offices of my company in the world.

Cute girl:

Recently, I was given a task which had to be carried out on a colleague’s machine because of the favourable setup. She sat at the far opposite corner of the floor. As me and my teammate sat down to get down and dirty with the task, I noticed that her neighbour was pretty damn cute. Someone I had noticed a few times at the café. No make-up, pure cute. I couldn’t stop turning around to look at her and was pretty distracted. She had been noticing this too and I feared pissing her off. For the rest of the day I got busy on phone calls to the manager and other people related to the task and had no time be distracted (Yeah, I know!).

At the end of the day, as she (the cute girl in the neighbouring cubicle) got up to go home or the café or wherever she was going, she lost her balance and bumped into me.

Cute girl: Hey, sorry J

Iceman: That’s alright.

Cute girl: You seem to be having a hectic day?



Iceman: No, I guess it’s a simple job, but I’m new to this.

Cute girl: Ok. I have no idea what you are doing, but I can help..?

Iceman (Speaking to myself): “Fuck work, put your moves on her, this is your chance.”
(Now speaking loudly) Haha, that’s very nice of you, but no thanks. I’m almost done. And your name is?

Cute girl: I’m Narnia. And you are?

Iceman (Crash-Boom-Bang):  Never mind!
FML!

NOTE: I might and probably will lose my sense of humour very soon. Please bear with me then.

Forty thousand fists in the air

*Quick Post*

Looks like I have crossed 40k.  I like numbers :) Dunno after these many years, if that's a good number or a bad number. I just know that when I started, I would have been happy to know this would happen.

Thank you

In other news, I realised some blogs are missing. Some time ago someone had asked me why I deleted a story after publishing it. Not realising what had happened, I assumed I deleted it and didn't realise it. Now I see that 2 more blogs from around same time are missing. Happened to anyone else?

In yet another news, I just read "The crazy snake guy" and trust me, two months on, I didn't get some parts of it myself. (That should set me back a few readers. Sucks when you all you have are few readers.). It gets crazier when I read my diary, though I hardly read them both.

Of all the insane things I have done this year...

...this has gotta be the most insane.


I return home every weekend. This weekend was not the same. I had a weekend party to organize along with a few others for my company and my cousins wedding on Sunday.

As eventful as it was, missing my sleep and being so tired and all, I was already missing home. I have no clue how people stay away from their home towns for so long. But once you have lived here, you have lived.

Drowsy and tired, I convinced myself that this week would be over and soon it would be Friday, as I folded all my clothes and put in my suitcase in order (Yes, still living out of my suitcase.). Soon I realised it was almost 8 and took my room mate out so that he could buy a cellphone (He has a knack of having his cell phones stolen.). When we were finally having dinner, still drowsy eyed, two people messaged me that Monday was a holiday. And just like that, without any logic or fore thought, I got on my bike and rode 150 odd Kilo meters home.

If deciding to drive 150 KMs in under a second at night (to be at home for just ONE day) and then actually going through with the idea wasn't insane enough, coming home after doing 150 KMs and blogging about it the first thing definitely is.

I wonder what happened to my room mate.

What's with the media anyway?

Finally the world cup is here, its underway, its better than ever and people are busy talking about anything but!



Vuvuzella my ass!! (Not literally.)

Breaking news

I seem to be able to access blogger from office :D

I hope this ain't temporary. I may not be able to write lengthy stories from here..but atleast I will be able to approve the comments and stuff in real time. Don't like waiting all weekend for that.

Had a long weekend, with cousin getting married (To a guy who seems to wear lipstick) and all. Couldn't go back home. And this pleasant little surprise when I got back today. Was on leave this Monday.


Ok, lemme get back to the world of zombies now. They are all scratching their nails against the glass while drooling on it. I'll go throw them a chicken or something.
Bye

Crushed Ice

It was a really long time ago that I wondered how insane it would be to list all my crushes and the stories related. It's not a long list, but it would definitely be a long post. And of late, most of you hate my long posts (along with my short, medium and medium-short posts). So I decided to not go ahead with trying out that idea. But I will talk about some significant incidents. For example...

My First Crush

She was this girl in my class, who used to come on my school bus. I had never had an actual crush before, and this one really confused me. Having been brought up with a lot of boys AND girls, I never saw much of a difference between both. All that changed one fateful day when she walked past the window beside which I was seated inside the bus, with those earrings.

Yes, it was those earrings that did the trick, sorry if you were expecting something more romantic like long shining hair, or hips that swayed side to side like a plantain leaf in the warm afternoon wind, or a voice so sweet that you needed three shots of insulin to digest her "hello", but I'm not much of a romantic writer.

Back to the crush. She appeared in my dreams that night. I don't really remember seeing her face at all. Just her earrings and her voice, the way I imagined it - hoarse and loud, but lovable. I still remember the dream, it was just as weird as those earrings(Come to think of it, the earrings were not that weird).

Before we continue with the story, I must tell you that she belongs to one of those ultra decent categories. Won't see a boy, won't hear a boy, won't.. Because boys are EVIL!! Well, now she is a bit more relaxed now though.

I thought about her and that dream for the next five days during class, at home, on the football field. Everywhere. Yes. That was my first real crush. She broke the ice, so I guess she will be a legend some day (She better be)

How I got over her

You know how people say that the first crush is really special and you have a weakness for her and all? Well, not really.

This thinking and day dreaming lasted for five days. After that, the school closed for the Dasara vacations and when we came back, I didn't remember anything no more. Only when I finally became friends with her 8 years later, that I suddenly remembered everything and haven't forgotten ever since. I found it very funny how I had forgotten about it. Since I was cool about it, I told her how I had a 5 day crush on her once and Good Lord she totally freaked out and ran amock all around town for the next one month.

" Ahh...that monster said he has a crush on me. Now I have lost all my purity. My squeaky clean image..its destroyed. Nobody will marry me. Why GOD WHY? WHY ME??? "



The Grand Finale (Last crush)

Zooming past all the other mediocre crushes, I bring you to the very last crush, which happened quite a years ago despite being my last. Well, she was this immigrant from Antarctica, she ruled a kingdom there (Queen of ice). She didn't say so, but she was so cold that we could take a guess.

Another good guess could have been that she was a robot from the future/alien planet.

"Feelings? What are these feelings you speak about? Are they the paper things you hang in the toilet? Where I come from, they call them tissue paper."

Thank GOD I never gave her a rose. If I ever did, she would look at it with absolute curiosity for the next ten minutes, the would have bitten off the top, crunched it like a Cadburies 5 star and then spit it in my face complaining that I gave her something that wasn't sweet/juicy enough.

Seriously, at 2 feet 7 inches and 14 microns tall, she was so full of herself, that you could bet your cojones off that when she is finally six feet under, she would turn into a manure mine if you know what I mean.

Brain Versus Heart - How I got over her

You know how all the negative traits of a person vanishes when you have a crush on her? It was the same with me. I never saw how she was close to a star wars character than a normal one as long as I was totally hammered over her. All that changed one fateful afternoon when we met right after lunch.

She might have been a messy eater all along and I never noticed it, until then, or maybe that particular day she had been really messy. Clearly, she had some stuff on her cheek. (To put it in a nutshell. Because the detailed truth might make it gross. Plus I have a weak stomach for such things myself.). So as one last favour to my last crush, I told her to wipe her slimy face, when nobody was looking. And now that I had seen that..I had seen it all.

I mean clearly, I did not want a girlfriend with whom I could guess what she had for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the last three days. No sir.

Score one for the brain. Brain 4 - Heart 0.

Good thing she doesn't read my blog. Or she might fry my ass with a plasma ray gun or a laser bazooka that is likely to be hidden in her bionic arm.


Somewhere in between - my 2nd or 3rd crush..no 2nd..no wait 3rd.

Explaining only my first and last crushes did seem like selling a used shoe for couple a thou. So here is a freebie in the pack.

I dunno which number she comes into. Oh wait...she was the 2nd. Or so I think. Anyway, she was this childhood friend. She had shown that she had a hint of liking to me and for a lot of years that made me uncomfortable. But after I got over my crush of Britney Spears, I started looking at my real life options.

By the way, yes, I am not including Britney Spears in the list. Its just way too lame when people put celebrities on the their list of crushes.

"Hey, who was your first crush?"

"No, its a secret"

"Hey please tell me" (Say its me! Because you were mine)

"No..but I had only like three"

"Cmon, please tell me" (Oh wow, my chances have gone up, but who the hell are the other two losers?)

"Ok. Aamir Khan, Richard Gere and George Clooney"

"Oh so nice" (Bitch!)

Never happened to me but I have seen guys complain about this a lot. So I didn't put celebs on my list. I didn't want to be a bitch.

Sorry about the off topic, so lets get back to talking about my 2nd. So she was this only girl I was close to at that point in time. Eventually I ended up with a teeny tiny crush on her.

How I got over her

Sad story. True story (All of the stories on my blog b.t.w). One fine day she had asked me to meet her when she was visiting my college. I had never made a move on her and had never planned to. Well that's me. But I was meeting her after a really long time. We had just kept in touch over the net and the phone, busy with our own lives. So we finally meet and I get a close up of her and find that she had really brown teeth. Good God!

Score one for brain. Brain 2 - Heart 0


I know. I know. I am a jerk!

(And just so you know, I won't be revealing/confirming the names of any of these chicks online or offline, at any cost. Thank you)

I am the kind of guy who gives the rest a bad name. But give it a thought..imagine me saying

"I like my girlfriend's teeth like I like my coffee...BROWN!"

Thank you brain. All of you are free to go ahead and call me a douche, but believe you me. If it wasn't for my brain and its quick reflexes, I wouldn't be as awesome as I was today and I wouldn't have written a single story on my blog.

And if you must know about my celebrity crushes, they were Catherine Zeta Jones, Britney Spears, Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra and maybe lately Katrina Kaif. In that order.

I know that I am a guy who is single by choice. By second choice. But given a choice, I would still opt to wait for the perfect girl. One who doesn't feel I tarnished her squeaky image by being with her, or has a "Guess what I had for lunch" face, or has a...oh well, you get the picture. Or maybe, I will turn into the crazy snake guy.


Perfect girl...are you there?

Confusions, Confusions Go away

Too bad. Too bad. There were people around me confused about stuff, now they are all so clear about their future, about what they want. And here I am, almost 24, still not clear about where I am going, why I am going.

Life changing steps freak me out. I have never planned anything. Things always just seem to work out. But what if I run out of luck?

You get the drift. I can't be like this forever. I don't want to know my future, I like being surprised, but I want a little more clarity on the decisions I am gonna be taking.

Please God Please, tell me whether I should buy a DVD writer or wait for a Blue-Ray reader?

Send me a sign. (Or maybe money to buy both).

The Crazy snake guy

You know you are gonna die alone in the basement of your house at a pretty old age (and then nobody will notice your dead) when you start seeing only two comments waiting to be published on your new post after you login to your blogger dashboard after a week.

Lets just for a while, screw that I don't care policy and seriously think of how a person gets used to seeing 8-12 comments waiting to be published the very next day of writing a new story. How your world has gone from being ignored without purpose, to being ignored on purpose, out of jealousy that he is now the all la-di-da writer in our midst. What can he write that I can't. And you can sense that vibe of well confined appreciation. You know you have secretly motivated bloggers here, there and everywhere. You get one hundred unique hits a day. Forty percent of those bookmarked visits coming from outside your country. You are finally, really the king of your world.


And then, life happens. It doesn't wait around for you to wonder if you have a choice between being a mostly-secretly appreciated writer but not good enough to so much as buy your own pen and going with the flow. Anyway, there is no choice. You can go with the flow and hope that both can be juggled, or just wait for another miracle. And then you start wondering if you are making it all a big deal? It was good while it lasted, and eventually you will run out of things to say. Nobody will realise your aren't there. Remember, only dead things go with the flow, and so did I. I had never cared and will never.

But you just know, that every time you see only two comments (From nice people because..well they are nice and has nothing to do with my blog) waiting not so eagerly for my approval, that you are dying alone after maybe spending the last twenty years rearing cats or lizards or some other strange animal you hate right now and doesn't give a crap about your blog, so that you can scare little children with it. When that happens, please give away my pets to the zoo.

All of a sudden, things change. You see a new follower. You have no idea why you care, but you are now not so sure about the you-are-dying-alone theory. I will probably die with that guy? Eww I certainly hope not. Will look like a gay couple committed suicide because they were ashamed to come clean (No pun intended) about their relationship. And if it is a girl, its like getting two followers at once. So with that new follower, life is all rosy. Rosier than the cheapest Golconda wine stain. So you immediately get on and start typing that story you were thinking about in the bus, until you realise, that the new follower is not aware of the commenting "facilities" either. So its back to watching the hit meter get just 2 unique hits on a lucky day. (Isn't it ironical that I am talking about YOU, yes YOU my dear reader and just one other person.)

You type out a joke about the facts of your life and the only comment you get is like "Oh that was bad", I almost pull my scalp out while tugging at my hair shouting "IT DID NOT REALLY HAPPEN, ITS A JOKE" but you realise, they can't hear you. And there is no way to make my point any more either.

Seriously, make sure you give away my pets to the zoo (they probably won't bite).

Looking for a house again

I'm so fcukin tired of looking for a house. All the guys who got posting in the same city along with me are now looking for a house with me. And come Monday I have to start looking for a house again. Can't I throw me feet up for a while? I had enough house searching only recently back in hometown. My family shifted only weeks ago. And I didn't even get to unpack.

Come ON!

Maybe I must consider a career in Real Estate. "Oh you will just love this house, the window opens to a view of two cows and many many flies and you know what? You can wake everyday to the smell of that dung..just like the good old country side. You will wonder if you are really living in a metro. And here is a bonus package, you get to fist fight with the civilized neighbours everyday for different reasons, turning you into a real man."

I'm sure I have it in me.

Yeah..we looked into two houses so far..both were rubbish. I wish I was just rich enough to live alone. I didn't have to worry about walking into the house after work to a bunch of room-mates watching porn(Seriously, I don't get the point or kicks in watching someone else do it, call me what you want) with so much intensity that if they had focussed so much on work or studies, they would be my landlord rather than my room-mates. Or someone playing Akon or Malayalam movie songs at full volume at the middle of the night.

I'm not complaining...I have just always been this private guy when it comes to my personal space. All this room-mates thing feels so invaded upon.

I can only hope that this week that I get at least, AT LEAST a good house for a good price, in a good locality(Without cows and flies), I don't mind being without a bit of personal space for a while now.

The week that wows

Ok. Here is my week in a nutshell.

* Got the big news, I'm not gonna be posted away, I'm STAYING RIGHT HERE! I'm so relieved.


* Rode at 120+ on India's second longest bridge.

* Got to see the Satyam campus and its WICKED!! Seriously..its way better than infy or whatever campus I have seen so far in real or on TV/news. It beats most of the college campuses too. The architecture (is above average, if not best), the trees, and oh the BIG tree..the banyan. Just awesome. Its so much put into an average amount of area. Sad that the organisation had a bumpy time in the recent past.

* Appeared for a cricket team selection just for the hell of it, bowled a bit and got selected.

* Bought myself a Beautiful Betta (Fighter Fish). He is a curious little devil.

* Was told I will be put into a dev role when everyone around is getting testing.

* And my cabin... (HEAVA-A-A-A-NNN!).
Its at the corner, got a big window in front of me. Even though most cabins have 4 people sharing it, because of the location of this one, it has a BIG (And I mean Big!!) pillar right behind me, which makes it a one person cabin. Nobody would know if I did the Manipuri tribal dance in it.

* Got a very important letter.

* I finally decided to completely quit coffee (Outside home - Hey! Terms & Conditions always apply dude). And I went the entire 123 hours without coffee. Had a big bucket of coffee when I got back home though. Twice.
So as long as I'm outta town, my famous "Thank you God for Chocolate, Cricket and Coffee" becomes "Thank you God for Chocolate, Cricket and Katrina Kaif"

* And no, I didn't visit that Plastic surgeon

Christ kill me now..

One fine day at the cafe-

Chick: Hey Ice, I wanna help you get a girlfriend.


Me(Shocked and confused): Why?

Chick: Cause ya Gosta Gosta Get one..and I'm pretty good at this, believe you me.

Me(Now feeling a bit pumped up): Umm...alright...you gotta be open minded right? Why not.

Chick: Ok. Now first of all, I know this great plastic surgeon in Bangalore....

Not in this life...or next

The news is that on Monday I will get the big decision. The decision that will tell where I am headed.

A little birdie told me I will be posted out of the state and it will be the

END OF AN ERA!

The guy/gal/it who posts me outta state is a   %&($()   #&%(*   .!..

I am never going to the location down south, especially. Believe you me. I will stop the bus on the state border and hang myself on a tree instead. Maybe, I will hop across the border to piss on them and back before I hang myself.

I will probably post an update about it on my twitter, unless of course I'm fuming enough to make hell shit in its pants, which is likely the case, so don't wait for it.

Dear Andrew Fcuking Hughes

I heard you damaged your brain when you sat down hard last week. That's pretty sad, especially because nobody will be able to tell the difference.

I read your last piece (of shit). I am sure that this is the closest you will get to T20...ever.

Anyway, I really suggest you take an aspirin and lie down. Otherwise all that excitement you got from writing your stupid ass article might give you a heart attack. Or even better, you might smudge your vision if you end up peeing in your old age diapers.


Not yours,

Ice.

Weekends...!

I'm gradually beginning to dread weekends. They have become the busiest days of my week.

Once called Mr.24x7 Online...I hardly spend 20 minutes online now.

Anyway, I just got home. On my way here in the bus, I had a guy with a fat ass sitting next to me and I hardly had any space to sit. I heaved a sign of relief when fat ass got off mid-way and a woman with a fatter ass sat next to me(almost on me) and squeezed me half to hell by pushing my poor straw-like body against the body of the bus.

I have been missing blogging. You still remember the 'Save our bloggers' campaign right? Only 1411 real bloggers left. Do your bit to save us. Or should I upload a cute picture of me sleeping? (Yes cute, I'm good at Photoshop)

I need a break. I think I'll go to sleep.

DING!

After coming here, I seem to have lost my capacity to play a practical joke when I see one. My colleagues, if I may call them that still think I'm funny, but I feel I have quitened down a lot (Well, relatively).

I had been to this pizza hut few days back with my room mate. We were returning from another friends PG when we got really hungry. While either of us don't really like to spend too much money, which usually happens when you visit these pizza places, my friend mentioned that he has never had a pizza. I thought maybe he should today. Anyway, here we are sitting inside this place and a guy is sitting next to us, looking at the door. There is a cake kept in front of him where probably his companion was supposed to arrive.

As I drowned a tasty apple cinnamon ice tea (You gotta try that one) I noticed that the guy next to me was getting very uncomfortable. I figured that perhaps the person he was waiting for hadn't shown up for long and I began to feel sorry for him.

I hate to see lonely people and I had this deep urge to ask him to join us. I know! Thats quite weird. I KNOW! Alright, so I am just wondering what's gonna happen to him when all of a sudden all the guys working at the restaurant form a circle around the table and start singing "happy birthday". It was the guys's bday, as one of the waiters shouted out to us. It was nice. They followed up with their own version of "We will rock you" the words of which none of us could make out, but it nice, with all the rythmic stamping noise and all.


Well that is that. As we moved towards the end of our dinner, I noticed this bell that said "If you had a good time ring the bell".

Barely seconds after I noticed this, a couple who were leaving the restaurant rang the bell and the whole team of pizza guys shouted "THANK YOUUU!!"...

...An evil smile formed on my face. \m/

Finished off the pizza in a hurry, paid the bill asked my friend to wait at the door, went to the bell and..

"DING"

"THANK YOU"

"DING"

"THANK YOU"

"DING!!"

"THANK YOU"

"DING!!"

"THAN...??...??...THANK..THANK YOU"

"DING DING!!"

"???????????????"

And as rest of the restaurant was busy laughing at the pizza guys' puzzled looks, I made my exit before they realised what was up.

Why I must keep this blog alive

While I am not aiming at any sort of ego massaging, I would still like to establish the fact that bloggers are a dwindling species. You(bloggers) and I are priceless.

Read this little article that says:
Youngsters prefer Facebook to blogging

So blogging will be classic in around 5 years. There will be no bloggers but just blog readers. While I am ok with twitter, 140 really cramps my style. I make a lot of noise on FB too..but I think I am much more than just 'likes' and 'comments'.

If you are a blogger, you now know, that you must keep YOUR blog alive.

Lost in Transition - Part II

I have been travelling to this city since I was,like,3. So getting adjusted to the place is not tough for me. I was homesick for about a week. Now I'm loving it here. Ofcourse, my mum is sonsick! ;) She cries every time I leave.

The conductors here are crazy. Everytime I supply exact change, they have an orgasm. Change is hard to find! One of them told me that the last time someone paid him with more than 5 Re1 coins was way back in 1994 when he had just joined the service.

The roommate has now brought in his computer and plays music loudly, till 1 AM while practising C programming. Guess what he listens to at full volume?

AKON!! (Imagine Akon on full volume while trying to catch some sleep in room brightly lit with tubelights with tip-tap-tip-tap typing sound in the background. Christ, kill me now!)

And he doesn't reduce the volume on request. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for his skinny ass, I don't want to end up fighting.


My manager is the grumpiest creature on earth. And she likes to shout. Just to establish her superiority I suspect. If you can hear voice, then you know you are within a kilometer of her cabin.

An interesting fact. The guys here think I'm decent. Muhahahahaha!!! (Good thing they don't know where Im blogging)

But I like the people in this place, even my roommates. Yes. These are nice people(even though they play music loudly). No hard feelings anywhere. Hopefully, this is something that is not just one the surface.

Im beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be feeling stressed out, because everybody else around me are complaining of stress. But what the hell?

Btw, I am so disconnected with the world till I return home. Do you know they got free internet in Singapore? I'm so fuckin jealous!

Its when you come here that the reality finally hits you that there is no REAL going back home. 40 hours visits to home doesn't really count as a return. This is the end of life as I have known it. Beginning of how it will be maybe for the next 20 years.

I can almost taste the raw mud as I sniff the hot air, which announces the arrival of summer. The fragrance, which once meant that exams were over and the sky was the limit for the next two months. Summer Vacations. I can still smell the summer in the air..but there are no vacations. Downside of being an adult that I always wanted to be.

Coming to being an adult. I am often caught laughing my heart out. Jumping around the corridors. Sometimes even making odd, weird faces at the security cameras. Playing with the rotating workstation chairs. Only to suddenly realise I am not supposed to be doing things like this anymore. You feel so stupid when you realise you are being silly.
Im a fine adult alright. And my dog Pluto is the queen of England. Please God, shower me with some maturity.

Grown up or not, I think my trasition process is almost over, I know my way around my place, I know my way around my daily chores here, I know my way around all the people I meet. There is just that feeling of that something that I have yet to finish, I just don't know what! [Maybe it will be a part of LIT-III]

The Great Bus robbery

1800hrs
23-Feb-2010
~12.9,77.6
Waiting for a bus

6:05:00 PM My bus arrives with a LOT OF PEOPLE in it and I get in.

6:05:05 PM Im chatting with my mate on SMS as I wait for the conductor on the footboard

6:05:15 PM My cellphone still in my hands, I pay the conductor for my ticket while still standing on the footboard

6:05:20 PM I put my cellphone in my pocket, feel it with my hands from outside once, and grip a bar to pull myself upto the center of the bus from the footboard.


6:06:00 PM Cellphone STOLEN!

6:06:02 PM I realise my cellphone is missing when I check my pockets again.

6:06:20 PM A gentlemen is standing next to me listening to music on HIS phone, I snatch the phone from him, and dial my own number
" Error in Network Connection "

6:06:25 PM I ask the conductor to shut the door

6:06:30 PM Doors shut

6:06:35 PM I start shouting at the top of my voice at the whole crowd. In fact, I shout so loud (Those of you who have heard me can imagine..) the driver slams on the brakes and the bus jerks to a halt.

6:06:40 PM Another guy realises his phone is missing. Starts pleading to the thief to return his SIM...atleast.

6:07:00 PM I'm still shouting. "If I frisk you and find my cell, I'll this, I'll that..."

6:07:02 PM Thief realises his game is up.

6:07:05 PM Something falls on the floor *THUD*

6:07:10 PM My cellphone is found in parts all over the floor of the bus and is gathered by the other people and given to me. Nobody saw who threw it.

6:10:00 PM I'm still shouting at Mr.Thief to return the other guys cellphone. The other guy...is busy calling his own number. I have my doubts on a boy in a blue shirt and start giving him a real cold stare wondering how to ask him if I could frisk him.

He, probably realising what I was thinking, puts his hands inside his pockets and produces a brand new BlackBerry and shows it to me with shivering hands. Now this guy didn't look like he could buy a normal calculator on EMI, let alone a blackberry. Even though looks can be decieving, my doubts in this guy were solidified. Before I could ask him to empty all his pockets, the call from the other victim is received, on his own number.

"Hello?"

"Sir you have my phone"

"Is that so?..."

"Sir where are you? I'll come and get it from you"

"Im at [Stop 11]"

"Stay there Sir, Im coming"

And he jumps out of the door and dashes in the opposite direction. FOOL! He himself got into the bus on Stop 12, which was long after Stop 11, how could the cellphone or the theif be there? I was shouting at him to stop, but all in vain.

Also, when my cellphone was thrown back onto the floor by Mr.Thief, it was, say, stop 20.

Idiots I say! And thats one smart thief. He flicked my phone in under 20 seconds. Some talent.


But that's one smart thief, outsmarted. I got my cellphone back!

Save our Tigers

Just 1411 of these cute creatures left in India..don't you want to see them 10 years from now?

Lost in Transition

The start:
I now wake up early in the morning. I leave home at around 8:30, reach my destination at around 9

The Companions:
Studious people around me, after all this while, still manage to make me feel like Im doing nothing.
I just wonder sometimes, if they are so studious, what are they doing here? 

The enivronment:
Neat. Love it. LOVVEE it.

The room-mates:
#1: He doesn't believe in bathing everyday. Nuff said.

#2: This guy is someone I knew way back in my Pre-University days. He was a friend of a friend of a friend of mine and used to eat at the same place I used to. When I met him recently I remembered that I knew him long long ago, once upon a time, in a land far awar and he finally ended up being my room-mate.
The day we shifted, he completely threw me off my comfort zone by saying "All this is amazing, I had never thought I will ever see you again after CET, now look at where life has brought me, I am your room-mate"
Not being able to deal with such an embarrassing situation I just kept interaction with him to a minimum(which I accept is bad) and now he thinks I am a snob.


The One Cute Chick:
Why are all cute chicks dumb?


The Beautiful City:
Uhhhhh! Dhool, Mitti, Paseena. Mechanical lives of a Million Money Making Machines. Is there anybody who lives a life here? Show me them!
I don't seem to have enough time to appreciate the beauty of the city. Once very green (as I remember it from over a decade ago) now not so much.



The coffee:
I realise my addiction to coffee is much worse than I had feared. I just can't quit. On an average I consumed about 50-80gms of coffee. Now I tried to quit, and I cant.
S'pose I don't get coffee on a particular day, I get so drowsy, that people think Im drunk. If I fight the sleep, I get a terrible headache.
Thank God coffee is free. (Thank you God for Coffee, Chocolate and Cricket)



The Internet:
No more internet, must explain why the blog looks like its dying...

I thought of carrying my laptop, but its a very personal belonging. I can't risk it with roomates, one of who doesn't bathe everyday and the other who is waiting to murder me for being arrogant.

Will try to be more regular here from now.

The friends:
I miss my friends. I miss my chats. I miss cricket. I miss everything.


The dusk:
I want the day to end early, but it doesn't. What with all the studious people around me and all. Lights are on for like forever until almost the sun comes out. And then ofcourse, the sun DOES come out, so mera kamre main andhera kabhi nahin.
If you have been following my write-ups a long time, you will know I can't sleep with lights on.




All in all, I'm just another brick in the wall...atleast for the time being. Albeit a satified brick.

High Hopes and a Happy new year

I was passing by a small apartment of 4 floors while sitting in a train back to home. I noticed a bunch of kids playing cricket on the roof of that building.

I recalled P, Ro n Me tried to do the same on the roof of our house, which is not a big deal because there is only one floor - ground floor. If the ball fell down, it was a pain to fetch it, but nothing compared to what these kids were upto.

The train came to a halt then and there and just as I wondered about the consequences of a runaway ball, the kid who was batting, missed the delivery and the brand new tennis ball fell 4 stories to the ground, bounced to pretty good height, as though in slow motion and finally found its way into one of the world famous open gutters in all the areas around our capital.

We all watched the ball go from flourescent bright green to a slushy brown and bog away on the dirty waters of the open drain.

Every single time I go on a train journey, there seems to be a story to write about here. But for great love of God, I don't! You will see why.

About ten minutes later, when the train finally began to move further, I wondered again as to why the kids had still not resumed playing.

Then it struck me - They didn't have the balls to play the game!


~                 ~               ~                 ~               ~                ~
I can see that your high hopes of an emotional story full of morale are shattered by this anti-climactic end. But don't worry be happy, cause its a happy new year -

2010

Seems like it has started out really well for a LOT of people. Hope it has/will for you too!

Psst! I sooo wanna play cricket now!! And I feel pity for those dumbass kids :D

Hot stuff!

Now that's some Hot Stuff! Thnx 9:)

I read somwhere...

I read somewhere that 23 is too old to be jobless and living

with your parents.

 

 

 

 

Wait, that was a note I found on the wall in my room.

They were all just passing by

One fine noon, when I sit under the tree,
In my college, named W.T.F I E
Keeping out a very keen eye,
I watch, all these people pass by.

"I have the best make-up kit" girls,
hairdos with a 100 million curls,
with a record for the most insult hurls,
They were all just passing by.


I watch the Kamas and the Thamas,
and rest of the college maamas,
with their usual list of dramas,
They were all just passing by.

Famous drinkers, smokers, ones without who-who dillies,
the drooling starers, the wankers, the hilly-billies,
easy little targets for all the college bullies,
They were all just passing by.

The dopers and the junkies,
with their early morning funkies,
Just another troop of monkeys,
They were all just passing by.

One more honest pervert goes past,
with shameless lines that leave us aghast,
people with indecency unsurpassed,
They were all just passing by.

The teachers, and the "Teach-Her"s,
the flirty faculty creatures,
party poopers cum canteen squatters,
They were all just passing by.
 
The desperado and the "seductress",
Doubles for monsters from Lock Ness,
everyone who is trying to impress,
They were all just passing by.

The ones who think racing is cool,
"I am a racist" says one fool,
and every other kind of tool,
They were all just passing by.

The nerds with their glasses tight,
The exam dates giving them a fright,
mugging up with all their might,
They were all just passing by.

The nerdy girl with the broken back,
the useless kid who wants to hack,
a decent brain is all they lack,
Yet they were  passing by.

The noisy girl+boy gangs,
playing attention seeking pranks,
a funny mix of losers and skanks,
They were all just passing by.

And now a stanza dedicated to some mongs,
people who will take offense to this song,
diplomatic fags dunno where they belong,
They were all just passing by.

Best are the people on their own,
licking up an ice cream cone,
talking on their mobile phones,
They were all just passing by.

There is a B.E College for everyone and probably one in every kind, in WTF Institute of Engineering.

My weird neighbourhood - Top 10 characters

Since I am leaving this neighbourhood, I am feeling a bit nostalgic already. And I have decided to mention a few sweet lines about the weird characters in the neighbourhood. Maybe I will write one about my new neighbourhood soon. And since only the first character in my story reads my page, you feel free to leave comment ;)

First is DPT Shake-her!

I just picked her first because of the amusing nomenclature. DPT is known to have the only forehead visible from space.It amounts to 1/4th the total surface area of earth. It is responsible for reflecting most of the infrared radiation from the sun back to outer space, unless she is wearing a helmet. She tried to run me over with her car a few times, failed miserably.

Second is Mrs.V

She is what you call a career petty thief. Yes. Thief. A cheap one at that.

She is passionate about stealing

*left over cakes of detergent soaps.

*torn chappals that are left outside

*Even morsels of food meant for the neighbours children...

with the title track of Dhoom 2 playing in her head during every one of her skilful con jobs.

Occasionally she also makes away with some unattended 3000 in cash and gold jewellery on her lucky days.

However, all the items in this list are as real as it gets. No exaggeration here. If anyone thought stealing was cool, they must really meet Mrs.V

Initially I thought she just had some mental disorder, but later realised she was just passionate about her skills at flicking left-over cakes of soap and torn chappals etc,.

Oh, btw she is overweight. She accounts for 1/4th the total volume of earth and is also the established newspaper of the street. She has all the details about every person on the street. If some woman regularly beats up her husband, Mrs.V will know how many blows he has taken.

I had decided to award her the character of the year until I discovered ANC Yamma, her tenant.

Yo mamma..ANC Yamma!

She used to live next door until Mrs.V stole a neat 3000 from her purse one fine day, a few years ago. They evacuated in a month.

ANC Yamma was under the impression that her purpose on earth was to speak English, Albeit in the most haphazard way, and go back to where she came from. Land of the Butler English probably.

She called herself "Working ladies-u" and thought it was more important to mention in an introduction than her name itself.

"Hi, I see you just moved in here, I am working ladeesu, and you are?"

Infact, the 'working ladies' part always appeared in a conversation, however irrelevant it may be.

For example:

Aunty no 1 (Govinda for short) says: "The power cuts are so frustrating these days isnt it?"

Aunty no 2 says: "Yeah, when do you think we will get regular power ANC?"

ANC: Hmmm? No idea Im working ladeesu no!

Govinda: My friend said the it was given in the Deccan that the power issue will be resolved in a week.

Aunty no 2: Oh is it? Who gets Deccan here..you get Deccan don't you ANC?

ANC: Uhh? Im working ladeesu no? Im hardly familiar with these housewife concepts!

Well, I guess she thought she was the next Iron lady of India or something of the sort.
Once two people of our neighbourhood were busy talking in soft tones when she nudged in between and asked with full confidence
"Talking with personal-a?"
Other hit dialogues include

"Going with temple" (To say I'm going to the temple)

"Coming to tomorrow" (To say, I'll see you again tomorrow)

Arradaa
She is the deserving winner of  "The Nanny of the year" award for 10th main 1st cross, door number..
Anyway, whenever she whispered, she woke us all up and when she shouted she brought a few trees down. She recently got married. She had a great pair of twins, (who were born to ANC Yamma) and she took good care of them.




The Twins
This will be short. One twin was almost blind while the other was almost deaf. Oh the kids these days!

Mr.V & Chota V
Mr.V:

I call him pussy cat. For no particular reason. We also called him Pa Pa Pandu. But we should really call him the goat cause he married Mrs.V.
When the desperate housewives of our street set out to claim the record for "Most blows delivered to hubby", Mr.V really is at the receiving end.

Chota V:
This 2 year old kid resembles both his parents. Looks like his mum when he is flicking something and looks like his dad when he is being whooped by the girl kids of the street. Otherwise he is quite cute and cuddly.




The Mini Skirt
She claims that she got the nickname because she used to wear a lot of mini skirts. (Eww thank you for that picture I said.)
Her special super power was her ability to cry...during anything.

She cried when she was sad,
she cried when she was mad.
Where she came from,
Crying was the biggest fad.

If she had nothing to do, she would like to cry and fill up the boring gap. She was also a self confessed 'over sensitive' being. The first and only person I met who confessed to being sensitive.
She was also alien to the normal human world and normal human communication. Once when speaking to a friend, she dropped in and I asked both of them what plans they had for the next day. This happened to be on Feb 13th. My luck. In true Mafia Wars style, she asked her boyfriend to ATTACK ME for "asking her out" for Valentines day. The poor bloke..sent another poor bloke to "sort out the issue" with me. And later he ended calling me and apologised for nothing.
I wonder why I was confused for 3 days!

Oh btw, when the whole issue was resolved - she celebrated by crying.




The Tailor house
This is by far the weirdest family I have seen - ever. They claim to be animal lovers, and by what I have heard, their favourite animals are Cockroaches. Yes!!!!! Cockroaches. Funny, because the last time I checked, cockroaches were insects.

The story goes that Mrs.V had been inside their kitchen one (un)fine day. When the lady of the house opened a box of sugar to make tea/coffee for the guests, about 4-5 cockroaches ran out (probably shouting "I'm free I'm free"). And when she was done taking few teaspoons of sugar, our Tailor the Jailor 'captured' all the roaches and put them back in the box. Saying something like "Get back in there you naughty. Where do you think you are going?".

I seriously don't see how anyone can like roaches. The very sight of those wretched creatures make my stomach churn and I get a puking sensation. That's one living thing that the world can do without.

Btw, their dog sucks!
--


And finally, after mentioning the Top 10 weirdos of the street, I must end this write up by mentioning the weirdest and the most deserving character ever to have walked this street. It's called saving the best for the last. The person is none other than me. The whole neighbourhood was confused over what kind of a guy I was.
Half the people will swear I am the angel of the area, while the other half has put a bounty on my head. I say, its just a simple reflection of how they have treated me. The easiest way to locate our house in the street was to mention my name and "mentally disturbed" in the same sentence.

Sucks to leave this house and the people around, but all good things come to an end.



Astala Vista..baby!

Dad's Khat-khatiya

Have you seen my dad's noble steed?

Theoretically its a scooter. A two wheeler.

Practically, its just metallic rubble twisted and turned like a totalled car which manages to go from A to B with a lot of noise and multiple break downs. When we had moved into the neighbourhood we stay in now, people had run out of their houses screaming, the first few times my dad came home on his khat-khatiya(Christened so based on the kind of sound the machine makes when rolling). We have forgotten where the wheels are.

When the local seismograph measures a consistent 4-5 on the Richter scale, the authorities know that my dad is out on his stallion.

Dad bought it on my 11th birthday(Which means I was 10) and I didn't get to ride on it. Of course, he took every other kid in the street and also all my cousins. No, this is not a sad "Dad didn't take me for a ride" story. Its just the irony that I mentioned.

Anyway, my dad rides it at an astonishingly high speed of 0.009 KM/h. In fact, its so fast that every time he rides, there is a reverse sonic boom we have to contend with. That is, the intensity of the noise generated from the khat-khatiyan is so high that it travels one full circle around the earth and hits him from behind a few hours after he started the journey, by then, he would have travelled about 800 meters from the starting point.

At one point, we all suspected that Valentino Rossi was my dad's secret love child.

I once had him on pillions and rode at around 10 KM/h. Khat-khatiya sounded like she was breathing after centuries, but my dad almost had a heart attack. Khat-khatiya never breathed like that again.

We once put a board "Please steal me" on it and parked it in the compound with the keys in the pawn the whole night. Next morning the modified sign now read "No thanks". We thought of adding a 100 rupee note the next night, but figured he will just take the note and leave.

The scooter was supposed to be the In-thing/best technology in the market when it came out and he dished out a small fortune on it then. I still wonder why. He has dished out more than 3/4ths of the small fortune on its repairs till now.

On a good day, khat-khatiya breaks down only twice. Dad pushes the metallic rubble for about 1 KM. However, its the reason he is in such good shape. So to travel a distance of roughly 5 kilometers, he spends about 200 ML of petrol and 2 tablets of Isordil.

But everybody forgets the good things khat-khatiya has done. Where would all the mechanics/service-guys and their children go, where would they be without Khat-Khatiya who has fed them all these years? Is there no value to social service anymore?

This post is dedicated to the best Khat-Khatiya in the whole wide world, and my daddy owns it! My daddy can beat your daddy at the Super Slow-mo Championship.

ಸಿರಿಗನ್ನಡಂ ಗೆಲ್ಗೆ

\ಎಂ/ ಯೋ ಮ್ಯಾನ್ ಯೋ!! \ಎಂ/

ಕನ್ನಡ ಟೋಟಲಿ ರೂಲ್ಸ್ ಡೂಡ್... ಯೋ!


ಬಾರಿಸು ಕನ್ನಡದ ಡಿಂಡಿಮವ ;)

House Hunt

The term finally came to an end after 7 long years and staying in this lovely neighbourhood with its weird neighbours (remind me to write about that) will soon come to an end.

Initially in search of a house in lease, we finally agreed to start considering houses for rent also as the date (end of term) drew closer.

The thing about the houses we could afford is that they always had a rider. Either they were
- too small,
- or they didn't like dogs
-No AEH
-Water problem
- or they wanted their furniture to stay in the house - which was a big no no for us. On top of all the frustration of riding around under the hot sun from house to house that the brokers took us to, I had to handle with an extra embarrassment to the landlords about What I Do!

The brokers would always introduce me as 'Engineer sayabru' followed by the landlord(s) looking at me with a bit more respect than what I have been getting from the people I already know. Then THAT would be followed by me explaining how I was not really all what the broker meant and that I had just finished my BE and was jobless.

My father is a big piteel master. (In kannada slang, it means he talks too much. More than necessary sometimes). Thus I also had to bear with the looong looong unwanted stories (which I have already heard a million gazzilion times) that eventually led to nowhere. The landlords always thought that the whole story made a point somewhere in the end with respect to the house, only to realise otherwise. One thing I never understood was the fact that they all seemed to enjoy the story anyway, even after realising it was not required in the discussion. And I thought I was jobless!

I mean come on, how can you be entertained on hearing the story about how my granny lived in a new and only house in a lonely new area with no power for 4 months all alone(ofcourse with all the drama, masala and tadka marke), when you are actually negotiating the rent/lease?
I would have said, wtf old man, you here for rent or story telling?

Anyway, after all the searching we narrowed in on two houses. One in a land far far away, the kind of lands where charming princes and beautiful princess' come from. And the other quite close to where we live now. The latter was for rent while the former is on lease.

Lease kinda works out financially, but the problem was that my dad sometimes returns late on his khat-khatiya scooter. And if it broke down on the way, he being a cardiac patient definitely cannot push it all the way to the land far far away.

So it has been decided that we will go for the house on rent. Those who know me for real, please remind me to show you where we are moving into. I just began packing stuff and even returned some DIY furnitures that I had borrowed from aunt a few years ago.

The update about the blocked SIM is that it miraculously fixed itself, even though all the while the dealers and occasional customer care fellows were blaming the problem on me, that I had changed some settings. Yess sirr, after all I recently moved into the city straight from the deepest darkest jungles of the Amazon and have no clue about gadgets.

After nearly 45 houses, one has been settled. After the shifting is complete, I search for my job with 0.19% more seriousness than I had all this while.


Note that I had to write this one in a hurry as the internet connection might be temporarily terminated for the time being during the shifting process and the exile may last as long as the whole of next month keeping in mind the lazy bums from BSNL.

The day I almost sent an SMS forward

There are about 500 contacts in my phone book.

Out of these 500, 498 people do NOT send me any messages. Ever.

What is left is A and B. The only two people who send me any forwards.

Both A and B complain that I do not send them any forwards. My situation is very clear and simple.

A sends, receives, understands and likes only veg jokes.

B sends, receives, understands and likes only non veg jokes. In fact, B can't even laugh at the veg jokes even if s/he wants to.

[Non veg jokes - Sexed up jokes ;  Veg jokes - jokes about life and limb ]

Deadlock.

Come 27th, I received over 10 good forwards on my phone. And I thought to myself - Is it my birthday or what? 10 messages? For me? This is the best day ever! Wait till A,B and rest of the Fortune 500 contacts receive my forwards today! Yeah Baby!!
.
.
.
.
Lo and behold, Kahani mein twist hain...all my outgoing has been blocked. WTF?

I did call customer care, but they have such a pathetic customer care service that you have to listen to the automated auntiji's voice for over 15 friggin minutes about all their excitingly unwanted offers. And it's not like, you can just call them up and keep the cellphone on your desk for 15 minutes while you go take a dump. You have to press a number every time the automated voice asks me to and she does that like every 40 seconds or else I have to start from the beginning.

"To know more about my dumbass dail-a-tone service press 1..to know about..."

And when I do get connected, some girl who sounds like she is the most exhausted woman in the world doesn't even want to pretend that she is interested in solving the problem and asks me to change the handset and hangs up after saying something like "Thank you for calling customer care...".

ನಿಮ್ಮ ತಾತ ಕೊಡ್ತಾನ ಹೊಸ handset?

I heard later that these cell service companies do such things if a SIM validity has drawn to an end as most customers are expected to change the SIM. Many faces of corruption! What an Idea Sirjee?

"Today is the day you will all remember as the day I almost sent you forwards!"

Sorry A & B..No cookie for you!

(Yes, my life is boring!)

Choices

- Hey I got into some rough waters with the boys from down the lane. If you can get your chums from back in the day, you can help me win this bro.


-I can't call anyone from back in the day. But I'll tell you what. I'll give you company. I'll come with you to lose.

Happy ದೀಪಾವಳಿ (Deepavali)

Remember that sky rocket firecracker image I had on this page in the year I started writing here? Well about 2 people knew about my blog then..so I guess most of you haven't seen it. The blog had a green background and the moving image was black and it never went well with each other. I was just wondering that it would do really well right now.

Oh..Happy ದೀಪಾವಳಿ everyone :) Don't ask me why the mix between English and Kannada in the wish. I hope all of ya have a great time.

This year I somehow feel like bursting crackers. Anybody else feel like it too? I burst my last cracker about 9 years ago. Well, its got nothing to do with the child labour issue in Shivakasi. I somehow feel a lot of families there are able feed because of the industry. Something like a necessary evil. I stopped for the environment ;) I know I know..boring. Won't be so boring when there is no place left to live.

Yet, somehow, I feel like bursting one or two this time. I have always enjoyed bursting crackers.

Letc what happens.

Meanwhile, You have a safe and happy time celebrating the festival! (Thnx to everyone who wished me on sms, mail and other means.)

Hear that? Exactly!

I have had nothing new to tell or share.
Which is why Im nowhere to be seen.
Im not in exile, if that's what it seems.

Have you been reading my blog lately?
Exactly!
There is nothing to write about.


Oh yeah! We have to move soon. So we are searching for a new house. The property rates and rent/lease rates have really gone up around here. So the houses we like, we can't afford and the ones we can afford are really just mud walls covered with coconut leaves.

Our broker took us to one really bad condition house in the middle of nowhere. And the Landlady was so full of herself that she was shouting at the broker, with a loud, hoarse, vulgar voice in that koplu accent for being 15 mins late and just because of that she was not ready to show us the house. We were as it is rather pissed at being taken to the place, so my dad folded his hands at the lady with...ummm..."respect" and said "Maam, even if you show us the house, we won't live here, kindly get back to whatever you were doing. Sorry for the disturbance" :P My parents are very sarcastic when it comes to humour. Both mum and dad. So you know now where I get it from.


So we are still searching - for a house that can hold our movables and our egos as well as fit into our pockets.
There was one such place, very close to my college(former). Guess what, it even had a girls PG. Wohoo? Well no. The owner didn't like dogs. Any man who doesn't like dogs can't be my landlord. Hmmpphh!! So I forced my parents to stop checking it out in between. Bye bye Girls PG! My folks seemed to like the place.

--
BTW, I realised I haven't acknowledged a lot of comments on my blogs lately. Im sorry about that. The thing is I avoid pinging my own page for many many reasons. So I kinda lost track lately. Will do.
--
Mafia wars, the text based game..it has really got me. I have moved a 100 levels since the last post.( For those who understand what that means.)
--


And oh. Can you believe Obama won the Nobel for peace? Thank God they hadn't given a noble to Mahatma Gandhi, or it would have been a disgrace to his soul. I mean, all the guy did was pump weapons and money into just another terrorist state.

What is the world coming to? 2012!!

You know things are just screwed up when...

---You get requests from the guys, who are hairier than the juggler and his bear, and the requests say "Hi, come with me to my farm, we can grow colourful fruits and vegetables and milk cute fat cows"

---You think this is the gayest thing you have ever seen and go "Dude! That's gay" until one fine day, the girl who plays the lead role in your honey coated dreams sends you the same invite and you accept. (Then religiously login everyday cause you get to send a gift each day and logout).

---Your wise cracks start appearing on SMS, status messages and low quality websites. And suddenly, you are the one who is not original.

---You realise there are very few hobbies that you can afford right now, and you are interested in none of them.

---You think everyday is a Tuesday until you realise its already weekend only because everybody is returning to the city to their homes. Sometimes you even ask "Is it september or October?"

---You have exceeded your net usage by 735MB this month. Dad is sharpening his axe.

---You move to Mafia wars for time pass (and get away from all the boredom and gayness in the world) and start slicing, dicing and icing losers world over. Boys will be boys? All of a sudden you are attacked by "Danger Kitty" and robbed off 12 million.

There is nothing better to boost your self esteem than being bullied by a 16 year old girl who calls herself Danger Kitty.

Why do I even try to be normal?

My path to self discovery

I have an energetic soul ("most active and adventurous of your group..jumpy and active and are a fun person to be around!")

My lucky number is 1 (Probably cause that's how much I used to score in my internals)

My nickname should be sporty

I am wolverine

I was born to be a detective cause I have a lot of natural instincts (Yeah, a guy who is writing about problems with self discovery)

Am the perfect guy with the girls and they are all over me cause I treat them so well (They must be all invisible)

Am a kitten because I am shy,vulnerable but sweet! (Yes, I puked after this)

Am Excellent at kissing("awesome" and "talented" )

Am in love and the victim is supposed to be lucky

The first letter of my soul mate starts with A

Adolph Hitler was my ancestor!

I can fly and...











I Am actually Jim Carey!!



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I wrote this blog all this while on a mission to discover myself and ended up with nothing. All I had to do was ask Facebook!!


Dang it! Why don't people tell me about stuff like this in time?

Black or White