Attention one and all: New ICC rules

New ICC rules:


After watching the test match, I feel some rules have to be incorporated by
ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification[before you read on, you might want to check out a post on a related issue I published earlier-->click here]

(1) Ricky Ponting - (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND
WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH
UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over
ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the
assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to
be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH
UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to
the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be
considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed.
Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH
UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE
SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE
decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might
not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES
(minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER
WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a
century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus
and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all
players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will
be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any
other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM
advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be
considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this
rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure
that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE
UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice
in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure
that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create
history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.